5 Secret Habits to Master
The Amplified Impact Podcast
June 1st, 2023
In this episode, I delve into five habits that I believe are worth mastering.
These habits may be different from the ones you usually hear about…but I find them to be unique and valuable.
I’ve become increasingly convinced that habits are incredibly powerful and play a crucial role in our lives.
As civilization progresses…our ability to complete tasks without conscious effort is what drives us forward.
Think about our hunter-gatherer ancestors who had to constantly think about where their next meal would come from.
Nowadays, we have systems in place, like restaurants and grocery stores, that allow us to access food without much thought.
This frees up our cognitive bandwidth to explore other areas of life. The same principle applies on a personal level.
The more tasks we can habitualize, the more mental energy we have to pursue self-actualization.
These five power-packed habits that I’ll be sharing? They’re your keys to personal growth and success.
Nail ’em, and you’ll supercharge your interactions, skyrocket your productivity, and handle life’s curveballs like a champ.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“If we want to make good first impressions, in my experience, it starts with the door.'”- Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino [00:00:00]:
What’s up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast. I thought I’d relocate us to a slightly different location. Today we are sitting on the roof overlooking the beautiful Minneapolis. So if you are just listening to the podcast on like Spotify or itunes or something like that and you want to see this beautiful well, you can’t see much. It’s kind of blown out behind me. But if you’re interested to check it out, do go over to the YouTube channel. We take all these podcasts with the videos and we repurpose them on a channel, channel called Amplified Impact. It’s where we put all the episodes.
Anthony Vicino [00:00:28]:
So if you didn’t know that they’re available, there they totally are. Now, today I want to talk about five habits that are worth mastering. But I’m going to talk about five habits that are slightly different than all the other habits you typically hear people talking about, myself included. So I want these to be maybe new, maybe novel, or things that you’ve thought about before, but you had never really thought about them as something that you could habitualize. Because I am more and more convinced as I get older that habits are the most powerful thing in the world. Truly, I can’t remember who said it, but one of my favorite quotes is something to the effect of humanity or civilization progresses based on the number of tasks it can complete without having to think about it. So so if you think about that, when we were hunter gatherers, we had to put a lot of thought and energy into where our food was going to be coming from. Nowadays, we don’t have to put much thought into it.
Anthony Vicino [00:01:24]:
We can go to a restaurant, we can go to the grocery store. And because that has been systematized in a way that we no longer have to think about it, it frees up our mind and our energy to go exploring other things. And so as a result, civilization has progressed, we’ve been able to move up the hierarchy of needs, let’s say. And it’s the same in our personal life that’s an example of a macro civilization based system. But in our own lives, like, the more things that we can habitualize, then the more we’re able to execute tasks without straining our cognitive bandwidth, which then frees that bandwidth if we use it with intention to go and explore new domains of self actualization, we’ll say. And so these are five habits that I think are worth mastering and working on consistently. Because as with all things in life, it’s a spectrum. It’s never like a binary.
Anthony Vicino [00:02:14]:
Do you have this habit or this skill or do you not? And it’s not a light switch. You don’t just turn it on or off. It’s more like the dial. The dial light switch is where you crank it up, but it’s a light switch that goes to infinity. So you can always just keep cranking it. All right, so the first habit that I think is worth mastering is the habit of making good first impressions. I think this is so important because humans have been shown in psychological studies that we make our first impression of another person within a second of seeing them, not just talking to them, but of seeing them. And that first impression is so hard to undo.
Anthony Vicino [00:02:52]:
It is so biasing towards how we will approach that person in the future. Regardless of how the second, 3rd, 4th, 5th interaction goes, we will be still so influenced by that initial impression that we have of another person. And so it’s imperative that we are intentional with how we build first impressions. And this is something that, in my experience, not many people think about. They don’t think about, how do I walk through doorways into new rooms, right? Because the moment you walk through a door, people tend to turn and look. And so that is likely the first impression most people are going to have of you is you walking through a door, of all places. And for most people, they walk through doors on their cell phone with their head down, or they walk through without intention. And so what kind of impression does it leave on a person when you’re walking through a door, hunched over, staring at your phone? Well, for most people, it communicates the idea that you’re busy or you’re distracted.
Anthony Vicino [00:03:50]:
And the hunched over position certainly doesn’t convey confidence. It certainly doesn’t convey the competence of a person who walks with their head back, the shoulders back, and they have good posture and they’re tackling the world. In a lot of cases, our faces are kind of like plastered into resting bitch face when we’re on our phones, not even thinking about it, right? Like we’re just like deep in thought into whatever’s happening. So our brow is furrowed. And those are not inviting characteristics, are they? That does not scream, that’s a person I want to go talk to. And so if we want to make good first impressions, in my experience, it starts with the door. When you walk through a door, being really conscious if that person on the other side of this door, if potentially your soulmate was on the other side of this door or the business partner, that was going to change. Your life or the customer that was going to change your life was standing on the other side of this door.
Anthony Vicino [00:04:37]:
How would you want to walk through that door? How would you want them to first see you? What kind of impression. And this is super important. Like, you think about superhero movies when they do the superhuman or the superman, the superhero landing posture, or they walk through the way that you first introduced the villain or first introduced the hero in that moment of like, this is them stepping through in all their heroic glory is so damn important. And so some things that have helped me is before walking through a door, put a smile on your face, a big smile, because people respond positively to smiles. Like, we are just ingrained to do that. So walk through the door with a big smile on your face. Make sure your head is back, your eyes are up. You’re making eye contact with people.
Anthony Vicino [00:05:18]:
You’re not avoiding eye contact. If you’re introverted and shy like me, it’s really scary to walk through a door and stare at strangers. And so you’re kind of like, please, nobody noticed me. But they will notice you. And so you need to own that moment of impact by looking at them and smiling, being warm and graciating. And that will leave a positive impression. When you talk to somebody, you smile at them. You take their hand and you say, hello, it’s nice to meet you.
Anthony Vicino [00:05:43]:
Repeat their name to them because everybody loves hearing their name be invested and make eye contact with them. These are ways of making positive first impressions that I guarantee are going to pay massive dividends down the road. Okay? The second habit to master is the habit of emotional control. I believe that if you cannot control your anger, then your anger will control you. If you cannot control your emotions, then you will be a slave to your emotions. And so it’s so important, regardless of what you’re doing in life or where you’re trying to go, that you have emotional control that you have the ability to when you’re feeling emotions, those big emotions like anger, frustration, annoyance, when you feel those things, that you’re able to control and manage them. Because the people that I know who are most successful in life, they don’t go flying off the handle when somebody cuts them off on the street. They don’t get angry when somebody slights them.
Anthony Vicino [00:06:44]:
They might not like it, they might make a mental note of it, but they do not allow it to impact their emotional output. And a surefire way to know if somebody is going to be successful or they’re going to succeed in business or whatever it is, is just to see how easily they get triggered. If you’re the type of person who gets upset by what other people are saying on Twitter or Instagram, if you’re constantly getting up in arms and feeling outraged, then you do not have emotional control. And that’s okay. It’s a progress. It’s something to be managed and understand. Like some of us feel bigger emotions than other people. That’s not a good thing nor a bad thing.
Anthony Vicino [00:07:21]:
That can be a strength and a weakness, right? Like our strengths are typically also our weaknesses because they’re strengths because they are so out of balance relative to all of our other abilities. But that also then means that there’s a potential for that to become a weakness, a liability. So just understand your strength and your weakness are two sides of the same coin. Emotions are the same way. They can be a great thing. My girlfriend Jamie, she feels massive emotions and it makes her one of the most giving people who has the biggest cup to pour out into other people that I’ve ever seen in my life. But it can also be a negative because then she feels very big negative emotions at times and that can be difficult. So emotional control, that is one of the most important habits that I can think of.
Anthony Vicino [00:08:03]:
And it’s the second one on this list. The third one is the habit of execution. Now, in my experience, again, the people who are going to succeed in life, there’s a strong correlation that the people who succeed in life are the ones who have an action or a bias towards action. They have great ideas, but instead of just letting those ideas ferment or ferment, they take action, they start executing. They don’t just start executing like long after they’ve had the idea and they’ve perfected it, they start acting almost immediately. They take immediate massive action and they start executing. And I do think that the ability to execute becomes a habit. It becomes something that some people are just so good at doing.
Anthony Vicino [00:08:44]:
Not just starting the thing and taking initiative and getting the momentum going, but then having the discipline to stay with that task even after you’ve gotten through the honeymoon phase. And it’s no longer fun and super engaging and sexy like it used to be. Now it’s starting to get hard and starting to look a lot like work. This is probably the part of execution that most people struggle with, is like pushing through that 70% where you’re no longer motivated to do it and you have to find a way to discipline yourself long enough to get to that desired end state, which is completing the task. If you are like I was for many years and a lot of tasks, I still am this way. But if you are somebody that struggles with completing tasks, like you just start them, you’re great at that. And then you have like a cemetery of great ideas with 20% execution that you just kind of gave up and got Shiny Object Syndrome and moved on to the next thing, then I would strongly encourage you to really reflect on those activities and what’s happening that’s causing you to get Shiny Object Syndrome. At what point do you start to lose steam? Because by being aware of what that trigger moment is, you’ll be aware of it moving forward.
Anthony Vicino [00:09:57]:
And now you can start to make intentional decisions about executing with discipline rather than just relying on the motivation. I did a blog article and a bunch of videos on this idea that discipline is better than motivation. Definitely check out that video on the channel. And this is on the Anthony Vasino YouTube channel. The video is called learning. This about discipline changed my life. Truly, discipline is everything. It is absolutely everything.
Anthony Vicino [00:10:22]:
It is responsible for changing the trajectory of my life. And I think it can for you too, if you struggle with this idea of finishing things. So that’s the third habit I recommend. Really dialing execution number four is the habit of conversation. And some of these habits could also be skills. I don’t know, like I’m getting kind of loosey goosey. But I do think being a good conversationalist is something that you can habitualize. And I think it’s important because a lot of people these days don’t know how to have a good conversation.
Anthony Vicino [00:10:49]:
They’re just kind of waiting for their opportunity to start talking and maybe nod or grunt in agreements. And the conversations as a result are kind of shallow and you walk away feeling like, oh, that person’s not very interesting. Well, the thing is, everybody has something to teach you and it’s your job to figure out what that something is. And everybody is interesting if you’re interested enough in them, right? So it becomes a challenge to you to figure out what makes this person interesting. What is it about them that you could latch onto and become interested in? What is it about them that is different and unique? And when you start looking at people and conversations through that lens, they start to take on a different type of importance, just a different layer of depth. And as a result, the other person remembers you. And remember, this goes back to making good first impressions, right? Like conversations are how you continue that. In my experience, the best way to become a good conversationalist is to get really damn good at asking questions and realizing that in a conversation where somebody’s going to look back and say, like, that was a remarkable conversation, it’s probably not because of what you said or how you said or how much you said.
Anthony Vicino [00:11:59]:
It’s probably going to because of how well you listened and the types of questions, the probing questions that got the other person to open up and share and feel seen and heard. And that’s really the key to a good conversation, isn’t really so much about what you say. It’s about how you hear and how you show up for that other person. So that’s habit number four conversation. And the last one is the habit of poise. Poise is one of my favorite concepts. When I was a rock climber, I did not enjoy heights, full transparency. I wasn’t like an adrenaline seeker.
Anthony Vicino [00:12:34]:
That’s not what I enjoyed about climbing. I enjoyed the fact that it was challenging both physically but also mentally. That there were inevitably these moments on the cliffside where your body is reacting in such a visceral way and success or failure is predicated then on your ability to control, again, emotional control, to control that biological reaction. And the people who end up being the best climbers or the best entrepreneurs are the ones who, despite the fear and anxiety and the strong emotions that they’re feeling in a moment, they’re the ones that are able still to approach and move forward with poise. And so this is an idea that I would teach to our students who are climbers, is you’re going to feel fear up there. And the goal isn’t to not feel fear, right? The goal is to show up in the face of that fear with bravery and poise. And poise. What I found is that when you show up and you take control of your body and you look relaxed and confident even when internal gremlins are screaming their heads off and you’re like you’re internally freaking out, but externally you look calm as a cucumber, then your internal state starts to follow and take cues from the external.
Anthony Vicino [00:13:49]:
And this is something that’s been very interesting in my life with rock climbing, is if I approach it and say I’m calm and collected despite the anxiety that I feel, I can then move forward regardless of those strong internal emotions. And then what was always funny is people afterwards, they would always comment, like, I would get this comment a lot like, oh, you looked so in control up there. And I did not feel in control, but I did not allow that lack of internal, that feeling. I did not let that bleed into my external appearances. So that means not making like super grunty, try hard faces, instead approaching this and saying, this is easy, I’m in control, I have power here. And what I found is that the mind often takes cues from the body. And so poise in business and investing in your relationships, I think it’s one of the most powerful concepts because it also allows you to kind of distance yourself from those extreme emotions and approach them more logically and more rationally. And in a lot of cases, the strong emotions that we feel are they’re born out of this fear of this idea that we’re in danger, that we’re no longer in safety, that our equilibrium is being disrupted.
Anthony Vicino [00:15:03]:
And so we’re trying to get back to that state. And sometimes just by being poised and saying, like, regardless of how that feels internally, I’m going to approach this as though everything is fine, you start to realize like your rational brain starts to unlock and say, oh, actually, this isn’t so scary. This isn’t as bad as my mind is making it out to be. I actually am safe right now. So those are five habits. I don’t know if you’d call some of these habits, maybe they’re skills, I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter. But these are five ideas that I think are really important for developing. And hopefully there are five that you maybe haven’t thought about recently, so that hopefully they gave you something new to think on, something new to chew on.
Anthony Vicino [00:15:37]:
But as always, guys, I appreciate you being here. I’m really excited to keep sharing these lessons that I’m learning in real time with you guys. So, as always, thanks for the opportunity to talk. Let’s join in the conversation, though. Let’s up, make it a one way thing. Go to YouTube, to the channel, whether that’s the Anthony Vasino channel or the Amplified Impact channel. Leave a comment, let me know what are some habits or things that you’re working on right now that we can all kind of learn and grow from together. So, as always, we’ll see you back here tomorrow.
Anthony Vicino [00:16:04]:
But until then, guys, stay hyper focused.
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