That Which We Can Be, We Must Be
The Amplified Impact Podcast
January 6th, 2023
In today’s episode of Amplified Impact, Anthony talks about a concept that has been particularly impactful in both his personal and professional development.
Drawing upon his education in psychology, he discusses a mental practice that involves deciding between “plus one” or “minus one” decisions to help guide ourselves into making the correct decisions.
With a focus on self-reflection and personal growth, this episode offers valuable insight for listeners seeking to better understand themselves and their place in the world.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“My goal is that at the end of this race, at the end of this life, to get as close to my ideal self as I physically can. Every decision throughout the day is an opportunity just to say, I’m not letting that ideal self widen the gap any further.” – Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of Amplified Impact. I’m really excited about today’s episode. I, I don’t know if I just got a really good night’s sleep finally, or if this is just a topic that just is so near and dear to my heart. It’s a concept that I talked about a lot last year because I did a lot of inner reflection over the last couple of years trying to like, understand my past, my stories, what led to me becoming the person that I am today.
Anthony: I think Mark Twain says, history never repeats itself, but it sure does rhyme or something like that. And so if we can understand where we came from, if we can understand the confluence of events that led us to becoming the people that we are at this moment, then we, we can do something with that information.
Anthony: We can either do things differently and maybe change the outcome of who we’re becoming or, you know, keep on the path and be like, yep, that’s what did the thing. So I’m just going to keep doing that [00:01:00] because it, it worked out really well. So over the last couple of years, I’ve been spending a lot of time, a lot of energy.
Anthony: Reflecting on my past, my stories, what got me to where I am, and some of the, the concepts that were like the most impactful for me. And as I unpack this lesson learned from 2021, because we’re still in the middle of this series, I think we’re nearing the end. I think this is lesson number 18 of the 21.
Anthony: Lessons Learned in 2021. And, this one is, I spoke about this one so much last year because I realized how impactful this singular concept had been earlier in my life. Probably I learned about this when, when I was doing my degree in psychology, and, at the time it didn’t, didn’t leave, a huge impact.
Anthony: It wouldn’t have been until maybe my late Twenties. Or maybe even early thirties that this concept like reemerged as I was really struggling with ideas of purpose and meaning and identity and all these things that, you know, as we move up through, Maslow’s hierarchy of [00:02:00] needs, you know, we try to move up towards, self-actualization. As you start
Anthony: trying to unpack those things, you start to butt up against this concept, or at least I butted up against this concept, which also came from Maslow. So I just, you know, alluded to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and that’s probably the way that most people are familiar with the famed psychologist. I think it’s Abraham Maslow Abraham, ah, don’t, don’t quote me on his first name.
Anthony: His last name is definitely Maslow, and you probably have, you probably have heard of the hierarchy of needs. the concept that people, I think are less familiar with is the one I’m going to share with you today. It’s the, the crux of the lesson learned in 2021, and it’s the most impactful way that I have of conceptualizing the guiding spirit of my life, of the thing that when I think about like my deep penetrating “why”, like, why am I here?
Anthony: What’s the purpose of all of this? This is what I come back to. and if you’re listening to this podcast, there’s a good chance that this is going to resonate [00:03:00] with you. I just have a, I have a gut feeling. So the, the, to preface this, this lesson, I want to share a mental exercise. you’ve probably heard me share this one before because it’s, it’s so, so powerful.
Anthony: Maslow had this, this idea that he wanted you to imagine that you’re standing on a road and in front of you, the road just kind of twists and winds off into the distance. But at equal, at equal, distances, there are signs posted into the ground and each one of those signs says Plus one, plus one, plus one off into the horizon.
Anthony: And if you were to turn around, there is a similar road and there’s similar signs, but these signs all say negative one, negative one, negative one. And Maslow said, imagine now that every decision that you make is an opportunity to either make a plus one decision or a minus one decision. And I’m paraphrasing all this.
Anthony: He didn’t say it like exactly like this, but the concept holds true. [00:04:00] So recognize that each moment is a decision, an opportunity to either move forward or move backwards. And one of the really interesting things is when you move forward, you get to move forward one, but when you move backwards, you don’t just move back one, but you deny yourself the opportunity of having made the right decision or a better decision in that moment and having also moved forward.
Anthony: So instead of actually just moving back one, we are in reality, if we were to imagine our perfect, ideal self, who always makes the plus one decision. With every decision that does not move us forward, it’s actually moving us backwards two signs. Okay. And that’s, that’s the framework where each decision is an opportunity to move forward and backwards.
Anthony: And I find this really powerful because instead of then waiting each decision and saying, this decision is disproportionately important, this one can move me forward, a 10, this one can move me back 20. Like, because then we can start to fixate and try to rig the game of like, I need to make just those right decisions.
Anthony: And [00:05:00] I like the idea that every decision is equally important because each, each decision that we make throughout the day is casting another vote for the type of person that we want to be, or the person that we are becoming, regardless of the magnitude of importance of that. That decision. I like that idea.
Anthony: For some reason, I just like, it’s, it’s something about the, the person who’s diligent with the small things can be entrusted with the big things. I think that’s from Proverbs or something like that. And so yes, there are certain things where bigger decisions would move you forward further. Like, mainlining, you know, a bunch of meth probably is going to move you back more than just one.
Anthony: Right. And making that phone call to your loved one just to remind them that you, that you love them, that you care them, it’s probably going to move you forward more than one. Right? So there’s certain decisions that yes, they’re more important than others. they have the, the ability to move you forward or backwards.
Anthony: But I like the mental exercise of recognizing that each decision is an opportunity to [00:06:00] move forward and backwards. And because what that does then is it gives me permission to, to look at really small things in my life and create winds out of them. So like right now I have this water bottle next to. And every day when I, when I’m sitting, I’m sitting here, I’m like, hmm.
Anthony: I could go get a soda, I could drink a beer, or I could drink water, which is the plus one decision. Okay? The water is the plus one decision, so I’m going to drink the water. And what’s really interesting is like you keep making these small little decisions throughout the day and like they, they compound, they add up and suddenly you’ve come really far from where you were.
Anthony: And I find that just a, just a really cool framework. I call it the Maslow’s Plus One Theory of Greatness. Something else that he said. And this is, this is the lesson learned in 2021 that I want to bring to you guys is he said this, that which man can be, man must be, or put another way that which we can be, we [00:07:00] must be.
Anthony: and it’s, this recognition that inside of us all, we believe that there’s greatness. You’ve heard me say this so many times, countless times, that nobody believes that they’re put on this planet to be average. Nobody thinks. Nobody thinks that, like everybody thinks that the universe revolves around them.
Anthony: And in a very rural way, the universe is, you know, manifesting itself within these couple of inches of brain matter that you have between your ears. And so very much so. Maybe you are the center of the universe, or at least the center of your universe. And with that then comes this, this, this call to action, this call to greatness or call to manifesting that greatness inside of us where when we’re not moving towards our greatness, we feel that we know we’re not.
Anthony: We know when we’re not in alignment with everything that we could be. So, Maslow recognized that our frustration, our discontent, our anger and life, disappointment, all of these negative emotions are tied to the fact that we aren’t living in alignment with our best ideal selves of [00:08:00] that which we know we could be.
Anthony: And so that’s when he says that, which we can be, we must be. And if we can’t be, then we’re going to be. Destined to a future of suffering and, and discontent, right? And so I find this really powerful because for me, the guiding why, the principle in my life that I find, like the thing that gets me so motivated is just trying to be better, a better version of myself, like constantly just trying to improve and become a little bit better tomorrow than I was today.
Anthony: Trying to get a little bit closer to that greatness that I believe I have inside of me and. It’s not about like serving. I know a lot of people, they, they, they coach their wives in terms of like serving the world. And for a long time I thought that I needed to do that too. But in reality, like I’m so much more self-centered than that.
Anthony: It’s just, I just want to be the best version of myself, whatever that means. However, that I can manifest that I want to, I want to get as close to. , that ideal self, who if every single decision, your ideal self, always [00:09:00] made the plus one decision to move forward, like you’re never going to catch that person.
Anthony: It’s a, it’s a hopeless ideal, but my goal is just to get at the end of this race, at the end of this life, to get as close to that person as I physically can. And so that gives me Every decision throughout the day is an opportunity just to say, I’m, I’m, I’m not letting that ideal self widen the gap any further.
Anthony: I’m going to stay as close as I can to them. And you know it, it’s impossible to catch them. So it’s like an ideal that you’re not going to win. So don’t, don’t lose sleep over that. But that is the lesson. For today. this is such a, such a big one. Maybe it landed for you, maybe it didn’t. I don’t know. This, this one.
Anthony: I think for a lot of people, they’ll go, yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. For some of you though, I think this will like really resonate and you’ll go, this, this makes a lot of sense to me. It explains a lot of how I’m feeling inside, and if it is, that’s awesome. I’m psyched that we were able to share this together.
Anthony: If you enjoyed. Go leave a review. You know, you know, I love my reviews. it does help [00:10:00] with the algorithm guys. It really does, helps spread the words so that we can bring this message to more people who would hopefully benefit from hearing it. So, do me a favor. Go drop that review and, if you don’t, you know what, guys?
Anthony: I still love you. Well, Not as much as, I could though. If you want more, my more of my love, go leave that review. All right, I’m done asking. I’m going to get out of here guys. I hope you have a fantastic day. Get out there and make a bunch of plus one decisions and I’ll see you back here tomorrow.
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