Creating a Magnetic Personality
The Amplified Impact Podcast
January 13th, 2023
Unlock the secrets to a magnetic personality and captivate the people you meet on a daily basis.
In today’s episode of Amplified Impact, Anthony shares tips and strategies for developing a magnetic personality.
He explains that while he doesn’t necessarily consider himself to have a naturally magnetic personality, he has observed and implemented certain tactics that have helped him become more magnetic.
He believes that everyone has the potential to be more magnetic, regardless of where they currently fall on the spectrum. He breaks down three actionable takeaways that listeners can implement to increase their charisma and likability.
The first takeaway is to be fully present in conversations by eliminating distractions and making the person you are speaking with feel valued.
The second takeaway is to practice active listening and ask thoughtful questions to show genuine interest in the other person.
Anthony references Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” as a resource for this technique.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“When you’re in the room, be in the room. Turn off your phone and make the person you’re talking to feel seen, like the center of the universe. Cultivate a magnetic personality by attracting people to you and making them want to be around you.” – Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony: [00:00:00] Welcome back to your Daily Dose of Amplified Impact. Today we’re going to talk about how to create a magnetic personality. Okay, so this is a, I don’t really love this title because it kind of implies like I have a magnetic personality and I do not really believe that. However, what I’m going to share are three things that I’ve observed and I’ve tried to implement in my own life to make me more magnetic.
Anthony: Because I think we all, it’s a spectrum, right? Like every skill is a spectrum. And I might not be naturally magnetic, but I can be more magnetic than my baseline. And same for you. Like regardless of where you’re starting on that journey, like you could probably be better. I think these three takeaways I’m going to share with you will absolutely help you do that.
Anthony: They’re very tactical, very implementable as of right this instance. So number one, when, okay, let me preface this before I share what this. Many times when I’m networking, I’m at an event, a conference, or I’m sitting down [00:01:00] for a meeting, maybe over lunch I’m there, but I’m not really there.
Anthony: Right? Like there’s so many other things going on. Are there distractions? Things happening over there? There’s a, there’s a server, there’s some conversation at the other table. There’s my phone. There’s so many things to get distracted by. It’s very, very hard to be a hundred percent present. Like focus is a very exhausting thing, especially when you’re sitting down.
Anthony: In a conversation, which is one other person, because maybe they’re not that interesting, but it’s your job to, you know, make them interesting enough because otherwise you’re just going to zone out. So this first takeaway is when you’re in the room, be in the room. And I’ve been writing this down on my to-do list every single day on my Remarkable.
Anthony: I keep my notes right there, all my, all the things I want to keep at the top of my head. And I write this one out every morning for the last couple months because maybe not for the last couple months, maybe for like the last. Because it’s something that I’m actively working on. I’ve noticed, I’ve observed in my own pattern of behavior when I sit down, um, it’s very, very hard for me to go just a [00:02:00] couple of minutes without pulling out my phone and looking at it.
Anthony: And when I’m in a conversation with somebody, regardless of who they are, like the, the subtle cue that I’m sending them is that, Hey, my phone is more important than you. And if I’ve given them my time. Like we have a meeting going on and I’m doing that, then I’m not showing them the full amount of respect that they could have.
Anthony: And when it comes to developing a magnetic personality, I think the way that you do that is that you attract people to you. And the way that you attract them is you make them want to be around you. And the way that you make them want to be around you is you make them feel very, very, very special when they’re with you.
Anthony: And it doesn’t make anybody feel very, very special when you’re on your phone or you’re getting distracted, you’re not really present. And so my first takeaway, my first lesson here to, you know, cultivate that magnetic personality is when you’re in the room, be in the room, turn off the phone. Like if you have to make a show of it and say, Hey, I’m, I’m turning off my phone so we don’t get interrupted.
Anthony: I want to give you my full focus and then be there with them, make eye contact. And when they’re, when they’re talking, be engaged and actually there make them feel like the center of the universe. And I, and I guarantee if you [00:03:00] do that, like make them feel seen, I guarantee they will, in kind, they will see you. Number two:
Anthony: And this is super simple. This is coming from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. It’s a book, like it’s highly recommended, classic. I love it. I, I found it very interesting. It was also kind of hokey at times, but there is one takeaway there, a very actionable one that I think we could all be doing better.
Anthony: And I’m going to share a story before I tell you which one it is. So I was listening to this other podcast and they’re telling a story about Kobe Bryant. And Kobe Bryant’s a rad dude. I, I didn’t know much about him when he was living. Um, but you know, since he’s passed, I, I’ve heard so many stories. I’m like, oh man, I wish I’d followed him a little bit more in life because I think he, he, he, he was pretty rad.
Anthony: One of the things that he would do is he had this, This thing where he would go out of his way to remember people’s names. Like the moment that they crossed paths with him, like even if you were just passing through the hall, like there’s, there’s probably very low likelihood that you’re [00:04:00] ever going to see this person again.
Anthony: And even if you do, like, they’re not going to have a meaningful place in your life. Right. Kobe would still make the effort to remember that person’s name and then go out of his way to acknowledge them if he ever saw them again. Right. So like that same guy that he was walking by in the hallway. and he is probably never going to see him again, but he learns his name and then he sees him six months later and he is like, oh, hey, what’s up Tim?
Anthony: You know, and somebody asked him once, he’s like, so do you just have like a special ability? Are you like, are you gifted at remembering people’s names? Like how you do this? Like, because he is, I guess he was really good at it. And Kobe’s like, nah, dude, not, not like naturally good at it, but it’s just something that I work at really hard because it’s important and it’s important because, Kobe recognized that he was very special and in a lot of people’s lives they, he was, he was not on a pedestal and he re he realized that for most people they might only ever engage with him one time.
Anthony: And in that engagement, if he could remember their name and make them feel special, it might be this thing that really [00:05:00] changes, like how they view him, themselves. It’s like this really meaningful experience for these people and they’re going to go share that with their friends and their family, and all these stories will then spread.
Anthony: So like just by remembering that one person’s name that could go out and impact a thousand people as they go and like share that story over and over and just like I’m doing right now, right? Like, I’m only sharing this story because he did something that was very interesting, that people typically don’t do.
Anthony: And so, remembering people’s names is one of the, the easiest ways to ingratiate yourself with people. I think, because generally we’re all assuming that people are just forgetting us as soon as we walk out of the room. Like it’s just, oh, in one ear out the other, and just another person passing through.
Anthony: So if you go to a conference, if you have a meetup, if you’re like whatever, and you’re seeing these people go out of your way to really remember their name, and I’m not saying you have to use it in every sentence and like make it really awkward, but remember who they are. I think that’s a really easy tactic.
Anthony: A I say [00:06:00] easy with big quotation marks because, I recognize that remembering people’s names is like super duper hard and I don’t have any mnemonics or any special tools that are going to help you do that. So, um, good luck, something I’m still working on myself. Number three, to create a magnetic personality.
Anthony: Ask better questions, like, I hate small talk. I think all of us really do hate small talk. We recognize like, I’m just wasting time. Like we’re not talking about anything meaningful here. And so, The way that you can get through that is by asking deeper, more insightful questions. And you do that by listening to what people are actually saying to you and then putting it through your mental filter and thinking hard about what are the implications of what they’ve just said to me.
Anthony: Like, did they just share something that probably brings them a lot of emotional trauma, a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety? Did they share something that was like a big win? Like unpack that deeper and, and realize like, oh, what’s the emotion behind that? How would I feel in that situation? And then ask those deeper questions.
Anthony: And when you do that, [00:07:00] people remember because now you’ve had this like, um, meaningful conversation, not just a shallow one. I don’t remember the people who I just meet. And then we talk about the weather. I remember the people who I meet and then they ask me questions that make me see the world differently or make me unpack them.
Anthony: Something like truly important. And so regardless of what you’re doing and what kind of context you’re using this, like, I think. Asking better questions is a, generally speaking, if you want better answers in life, ask better questions. If you want better relationships, I think asking more insightful questions is a great way of doing that, whether it’s with your loved one at night.
Anthony: And instead of just saying like, how was your day? Like asking you know, better questions of like, what was the best part of your day? Or why was it the best part? Like, what gave you the most stress? What caused that stress? How are you feeling now about that? Like, Probing deeper, and generally you follow these three principles, you’re going to develop a pretty magnetic personality.
Anthony: So remember when you’re in the room, be in the room. Remember people’s names, and then ask better questions. It’s super simple, but [00:08:00] take those three things and just start working on them for the next couple of months. I bet you’re going to have a dramatic improvement in the, the quality of conversations that you’re having with people.
Anthony: So if you got any value out of this, do me a favor. Just go drop a review, share it with somebody that you think would get some, some value out of this. And for those that don’t know, I’m just, I’m Anthony Vicino. I’m the founder of Invictus Capital, own about, 70 million of real estate. And I do this podcast to share my journey from where I used to be a decade ago, live in the back of a van and $80,000 in debt and to where I am now, which is, um, not that.
Anthony: So along the way I’ve been fascinated with trying to live a life of amplified impact and unpacking what that means in all its different manifestations. So this is podcast. This podcast is really just my attempt at relearning these lessons for myself and in the process, sharing them with you and hopefully it brings you a little bit of value.
Anthony: So if it did awesome, love a review. Just go share this with somebody. That’d be really, really rad. Otherwise, I’ll catch you guys in the next episode.
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