3 Common Habits Holding You Back in Life
The Hyperfocused Entrepreneur
June 19, 2023
Read time: 7 minutes
When Michelangelo was asked how he carved the statue of David, he answered:
“It’s simple. I just remove everything that is NOT David.”
The heart of this deeply profound concept is something called:
Addition through Subtraction
Often we start our quest to unlock inner-greatness by looking in all the wrong places.
We look to introduce new fancy habits into our lives like cold plunges, red light therapy, or gratitude journals because we trick ourselves into thinking that the reason we’re not where we want to be is because there’s something we’re not doing.
And sometimes, ya know what? We’re actually right and there is something we need to add into our lives.
But, in my experience, more often than not, the things really holding most of us back are not the things we aren’t doing, but rather, the things that we ARE doing.
Put another way, we should look for the things in our lives that, if we were to STOP doing, would yield the biggest gains.
Think of it like this…
Imagine you’re a car.
Great habits are the accelerator.
Bad habits are the emergency break.
Now, you could press harder on the accelerator, and sure, you’ll go quicker… but do you smell that?
Yeah, that’s the smell of burn out.
No bueno.
So, before pressing the pedal all the way to the metal, let’s take a moment and make sure we’ve disengaged the emergency break.
That is, let’s eliminate those habits holding us back before worrying about the ones that’ll propel us forward.
This week, we’re tackling this problem head on by exploring five bad habits which are slowly but surely stalling out our growth.
Let’s dive in…
Habit #1: The Scarcity Mindset
Our journey begins with one of the most insidious and limiting beliefs we can hold onto: The Scarcity Mindset.
Many of us live our lives haunted by the specter of scarcity, fearing there’s never enough of whatever we seek (money, love, attention, security, joy, etc…).
This scarcity mindset creates a perverse paradox, however: the more we worry about not having enough, the less open we become to the opportunities around us.
So imagine this:
Picture a pair of brothers: Tom and Jerry (yes, like the cartoon, but stick with me).
They both inherit a large, fertile piece of land from their father.
Jerry looks at the land and sees a farm capable of sustaining his family and the community around him for generations.
Believing in his vision for what the farm could be, Jerry is constantly reinvesting back into his land and working towards the utopian vision he sees so clearly in his dreams.
It’s hard to stop a person like that.
Tom, on the other hand, sees something else. He worries the land isn’t vast enough, the soil not fertile enough, the work too hard, and the profits too small.
Now Tom, with his fear-based scarcity mindset invests only the bare minimum in maintaining his land. His crops are meager and because THAT doesn’t work, he takes that as proof that he’s right… the land is no good. Therefore, he never thinks to diversify.
If we fast forward a few years, is it really any surprise that Jerry’s farm has flourished whereas Tom’s has floundered?
Our beliefs drive our thoughts which become our actions and ultimately our results.
It’s remarkable how often the world contorts itself to fit the vision of reality we hold in our mind’s eye.
Any belief held strongly enough will inevitably become true.
So be careful about what you choose to believe…
In a very real way, it'll become your reality.
— Anthony Vicino (@AnthonyVicino) May 29, 2023
Okay, Scarcity bad, Abundance good.
But how do we counter that pesky voice of fear that we all have in the back of our minds?
One word: Gratitude.
Gratitude is a concept that’s really been bastardized over the past decade.
Many of us (myself included) have systematized gratitude to death in pursuit of ever increasing amounts of productivity.
In the process, we become detached from the heart of gratitude.
Now, I say this to impress upon you the importance of cultivating a gratitude practice with INTENTION.
It simply doesn’t work if it’s just a to-do to be checked off on the morning routine (ask me how I know).
The goal of a regular gratitude practice isn’t just to sit down and think about all the things you’re grateful for…
It’s to FEEL the gratitude.
And that’s something I can’t teach you how to do as it’s still something I personally struggle with, but I will say it’s a life-long journey worth embarking upon.
Habit #2: Prioritizing Urgency over Impact
For our next stop on this journey of self-discovery and growth, we venture into the perilous territory of the urgency trap.
This deceptive habit is like quicksand pulling us deeper and deeper into the vortex of now, often at the cost of our long-term goals and happiness.
See, we live in an increasingly noisy world filled with “loud” tasks vying for our attention.
And unfortunately, the loudest tasks tend to be the ones that are the most urgent (not necessarily the most important).
As a result, we push those important tasks and goals to the backburner, because they don’t require immediate attention.
Things like long-term strategic planning, developing meaningful relationships, investing in personal growth, or even your health get pushed aside in the name of answering those emails or DMs more quickly.
Let’s explore how this habit plays out through the story of two friends, Lisa and Emma. Both are talented, ambitious, and driven, carving out careers in the high-stakes world of corporate finance.
Lisa is the embodiment of a ‘firefighter’. She thrives on the adrenaline of urgent tasks and last-minute deadlines. She’s always the first to respond to emails, takes pride in her ability to multitask, and feels most productive when her day is packed with back-to-back meetings.
Lisa priorities urgency over impact.
Emma, on the other hand, takes a different approach. She’s selective about the meetings she attends and is diligent about setting boundaries on her time. Instead of constantly checking her email, she sets specific times to do so throughout the day.
Emma recognizes the difference between urgency and importance and never sacrifices the latter for the former.
Fast-forward a few years and Lisa has become the go-to-person for last-minute tasks and her willingness to jump on every urgent task has won her praise.
But, she’s perpetually stressed and feels like she’s running on a hamster wheel. Despite her hard work, she hasn’t progressed in her career as much as she’d hoped.
Emma, on the other hand, has steadily risen through the ranks because her strategic projects, though they don’t get the immediate buzz of Lisa’s urgent tasks, deliver long-lasting impact.
Not only is she growing professionally and personally at a quicker rate, she is doing so with far less stress.
Listen, when we’re trapped in the cycle of urgency, it’s easy to confuse being busy with being productive.
But not everything that demands your attention deserves it.
“There is no greater waste than to do with excellence that which shouldn’t be done at all.” – Peter Drucker
A simple, yet powerful tool for ranking tasks based on Importance and Urgency is called The Eisenhower Matrix.
Habit #3: Collecting (Not Connecting) Dots
This third habit is subtle (and often mistaken as a virtue): It’s the excessive collection of dots, or in layman’s terms, the relentless pursuit of knowledge without application.
Very hard to get paid for collecting dots.
Surprisingly easy to get paid connecting them, though.
**Dots = Information
— Anthony Vicino (@AnthonyVicino) June 12, 2023
Story time.
Picture two scientists, Richard and Sarah. Both are brilliant, hungry for knowledge, and both in the same field of research.
Richard loves to learn. He spends countless hours pouring over research papers, attending seminars, and signing up for online courses.
He’s always eagerly acquiring new information and amassing knowledge.
Rich is a dot collector.
Sarah follows a different approach. While she values learning, she equally values application. She spends her time balancing between absorbing new information (collecting dots) and applying what she’s learned to her work (connecting dots).
Fast forward a few years and you’ll see a stark difference between Richard and Sarah. Despite Richard’s vast knowledge, his impact on his field is minimal. His desk is filled with stacks of papers and books, symbols of the knowledge he’s acquired… but not applied.
Sarah, however, has made significant strides in her field. Her balance of learning and doing has resulted in numerous research papers, patents, and even breakthroughs in her field. She has not just collected dots; she’s connected them, creating a masterpiece in her field of study.
Remember, the acquisition of knowledge is valuable, but it’s the application of that knowledge that creates real impact in the world.
In our information-saturated age it’s never been easier to fall into the trap of constant learning without application…(just ask me how I know).
So how do we become more like Sarah?
The key is to strike a balance and make time not only to learn new things, but also to reflect on and apply that knowledge.
This means setting aside specific “doing” time each week to connect dots.
If you tend to be a dot collector, check out this video whereI break down how to create a habit of doing.
I can’t stress how important it is to move beyond being a mere collector of information, and instead to become an architect of knowledge, weaving together dots of information into valuable insights and impactful actions.
Now, as we conclude our exploration of these detrimental habits, remember that change is a process, not an event.
These three bad habits are sneaky; they creep into our lives under the guise of normalcy, and before we know it, they’re directing our lives.
But remember, awareness is the first step towards change. By recognizing and addressing these habits with INTENTION, you can reclaim your life’s steering wheel, disengage the emergency break, and start driving towards success.
Until next week,
Stay Hyperfocused, My Friend.
AV
Until next week…
Stay Hyperfocused, My Friend
AV
From YouTube This Week:
30 Life & Money Habits to Master Before 30
Want to go even deeper?
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