I spent the weekend with 15 of the top creators in the world… here’s what I learned.
The Hyperfocused Entrepreneur
July 9, 2023
Read time: 10 minutes
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Forgive me.
What I’m about to say is horribly cliche, but it’s also one of the most profound truths that all of us must wrestle with in our pursuit of living a life Beyond the Apex.
You are the average of the five people you hang out with the most.
It’s no joke to say these words from the legendary Jim Rohn changed my life when I first heard them.
At the time I was 28 and living in the back of the van.
Most of you already know that story.
What you don’t know is that my life at that very moment wasn’t terribly different from the lives of my 5 closest friends.
See, I’d been living in the dirtbag rock climber lifestyle for the better part of a decade. All my closest relationships were beautiful souls who valued communing with nature, bucking societies expectations, and carving their own path through the world.
Most of my friends were content working odd-jobs for minimum wage because when you’re living most of your life out of a tent, you don’t really need much to get by.
Not surprisingly, all of us were barely scraping by each month.
But that was okay… ‘cause being a dirtbag was a badge of honor. A rite of passage.
And this was all well and good… right up until the moment it wasn’t.
When my life suddenly unraveled and I found myself facing the harsh reality of society’s expectations with no real measurable skills to my name, it occurred to me that my Peter Pan existence wasn’t sustainable.
Not only that… but more importantly, it wasn’t the legacy I wanted to leave behind.
While living in the back of that van parked in downtown Oakland, I wrestled with questions of purpose and meaning and contribution.
And what I ultimately realized was this:
I wanted to live a life of Amplified Impact (which is why this is the name of my daily podcast).
Now, I’m not going to get into the details of what that specifically means to me, but one thing became clear…
To create a life of Impact, I needed to surround myself with people who were doing just that, because again, like Jim Rohn said:
You are the average of the five people you hang out with the most.
So I went on a search for people who were making a massive Impact in the world.
Now, here’s the rub…
When you’re just a guy living in the back of a van, the people you look up to probably don’t have the time (nor desire) to hang out with you.
After-all, they’re busy trying to surround themselves with continually more badass people so that they’re Average Five continually levels up.
I would only pull them down.
So what are we to do when the five people you want to hang out with don’t want to hang out with you?
Well, I did two things:
- Consume everything they produce
- Pay for access
Impact oriented people often produce content because they understand the power of media to spread their message and lessons from one-to-many.
They’ll go on podcasts, record videos, and sometimes write books.
Step one in expanding your Average Five is to realize you can spend time with these people without actually being in the same room as them.
For instance, one of my Average Five is Alex Hormozi.
I’ve only ever chatted with him a handful of times, but because I’ve spent hours listening to him in podcasts and on videos, I have a deeper understanding of his thoughts, ideas, and worldviews than I have of any of my closest friends.
Step two is the easier path (but also the more expensive). Simply pay to get in the same room as your dream Average Five.
This means joining masterminds, paid communities, or getting 1-on-1 coaching.
For context, I spend around $75,000/year to access these communities of incredible people.
But I recognize that in the beginning, that might not be feasible. In that case, focus on step one.
Now, if you keep on the journey long enough and continue learning, growing, and developing…something interesting starts to happen.
Slowly, but surely, you become the type of person that other people start looking up to.
And then something magical happens:
Rockstars start reaching out because they want to hang out with you.
Now, I share this with you because I’ve been incredibly fortunate and in the past year a few of our social channels have blown up.
As a result, I’ve gotten to hang out with some ridiculously amazing people and learn from them up close and personal.
In particular, last weekend I was invited to a retreat to hang out with 15 top level creators.
Guys with 6 millions subscribers on YouTube or podcasts that get tens of millions of downloads a year.
These are creators of a mind boggling quality that I learned SO much from over the course of the weekend.
But I don’t want to hoard those learnings all to myself.
So in this week’s newsletter I’m gonna share a sneak peek at my notes to share the 9 most impactful lessons learned.
1. The Power of Community
Doesn’t matter where you are in the game:
EVERYBODY yearns for community.
There’s magic in getting together.
And it’s something we all want more of, but…
Most of us are just sitting around waiting to be invited to the party.
Pro-Tip: If you’re tired of waiting for an invite, then go throw your own party.
Be the hub that connects people within your network.
This is something I’ve been terrible at in the past.
See, I struggle with the thing that I think holds most people back:
We’re afraid nobody will come to our party.
And listen, that might be true…but the thing I’m coming to realize is this…
So what?
If nobody comes then you’re in the same exact position you’re in now.
No better, no worse.
Then again… what if people DO come?
Suddenly you’re the hub that connects, and in my experience, that is one of the most valued members of any community.
In the next quarter, I’m going to start throwing local parties for creators and entrepreneurs, but I realize that’s not super helpful for most of you who are reading this (who are not Minnesotans).
So, next month I’m going to launch a community where we’ll get together for monthly group calls. There’s a couple other things we’re going to offer this community that I’m pretty jazzed about, but more details to come on that later.
This will likely be a paid community so we can ensure the quality and commitment of members is high and are currently thinking ~$50/month.
If this is something you might be interested in, just reply to this email and I’ll get you on the waitlist to be notified when the group takes flight.
2. Confidence, Not Ego
True killers don’t feel the need to prove it.
They don’t posture.
They don’t thump their chests.
They don’t dominate conversations.
People who are truly confident in their abilities and value don’t feel compelled to prove it to everybody else.
As a result, these people tend to spend most of their time listening rather than talking.
3. Hawks, not Peacocks
A couple months back I got trolled by a guy on Instagram who said in one of my videos:
“Yeah, ‘cause I take my financial advice from a guy wearing a Wal-Mart t-shirt and crappy headphones.”
Here’s the thing:
Success looks a certain way, but it’s not how the average person thinks.
It’s not flashy designer clothes, suits, or over-the-top jewelry.
It’s 90% plain t-shirts, jeans, and Toyota Corollas.
Okay, maybe not so many Corollas, but more Toyotas than you might think.
There’s a difference between looking successful and actually being successful.
See, most people think you have to dress for success, but in my experience, the most successful people don’t stand out in a crowd.
And this is because they’re more interested in winning the Wealth Game than they are in the Status Game.
Being successful beats just looking successful.
4. A-Players Think Differently
Throughout hundreds of conversations over the weekend, I didn’t hear a single argument.
Not once did I hear anybody try to correct somebody else with, “Well, actually…”
The best aren’t interested in proving how much they know (again, this goes back to Confidence, Not Ego).
But even moreso, they realize that information is power, and that it does them no good to assume they know the most.
There’s literally no upside in believing you’re the smartest person in the room.
Instead, these A-Players are more interested in extracting as much knowledge from YOU as possible.
If you say something they disagree with, they don’t dig in their heels to prove why they’re right and you’re wrong.
No, they ask questions to try and better understand YOUR position.
Because at the end of the day, their goal isn’t to be right… it’s to get to the right answer quickest.
Listen, this has been one of the hardest lessons I’ve personally had to learn, but there are no prizes given for proving to everybody that you are the smartest person in the room.
Know-It-Alls do NOT make it to the highest levels of the game.
Success flows to those who commit to learning the most. And the only way you can be committed to learning the most is if you go into every conversation with the genuine perspective that you DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING.
End of story.
5. The Best Are Obsessed
If you’re not living and breathing your craft…
Constantly investing in your skills…
And obsessing over every single detail…
Then you are going to get blown off the court by the people who do.
It’s that simple… and that hard.
6. Iterations Matter More than Repetitions
One of the things that blew my mind hanging out with these top creators was just how they test everything they do.
Seriously, they test every little thing from thumbnail design to titles to scripting to delivery to… everything.
And it reminded me of something Naval said:
It isn’t 10,000 hours that creates outliers, it’s 10,000 iterations.
— Naval (@naval) March 31, 2020
Mastery requires feedback, reflection, and iteration.
Which is why, despite the fact that I’ve been typing on keyboards for the better part of the past 30 years, I’m not really all that much better than I was when I was 18.
I’ve typed millions of words since then, which is A LOT of repetitions, right? So why am I not better?
Because I don’t seek feedback about what I’m doing well (or poorly)…
I’m not reflecting on that feedback and how I could incorporate it…
And I’m not iterating on those reflections with the intention of improving.
As a result, I’m just about as good a typist as I’ve always been.
The lesson here:
Iterations matter more than Repetitions.
7. Communication Is a Key That Unlocks Any Door
You may very well be brilliant…
But if you can’t articulate your ideas simply and concisely through the written and/or spoken word…
Then the world is gonna think you’re an idiot.
This is why I’m constantly preaching the importance of learning to write.
Now listen, writing sucks.
It’s hard and slow and tedious… and most of us really suck at it.
School didn’t help the situation. If anything, it just reinforced how hard writing actually is.
That’s a shame, because the power of writing can’t be overstated.
Writing is the physical manifestation of your ephemeral thoughts.
It is simultaneously the means for caging our chaotic minds, and unleashing it.
Think of it like this:
If you’ve ever meditated you were probably frustrated to realize just how frequently your monkey mind leaps from thought to thought.
Writing is the process by which we take that monkey by the hand and walk it from point A to point Z.
Did I mention that the monkey is fighting you the entire way?
Yeah…
That monkey hates sitting still for the length of time required to force a thought out through the chokepoint of your pen or keyboard.
But if you persist, you will arrive at the end with something incredible…
Clarity of Thought
Now, here’s why this is important:
When you are able to distill your thoughts and then effectively communicate them to the world, you unlock something incredibly powerful:
Influence
The people at this weekend’s event were some of the most influential in the world and it wasn’t just because they were charismatic and smart…
It’s because they had deep conviction in what they were saying born from the fact that they had done the hard work of truly thinking about things on more than just a surface level.
If you don’t currently have a daily thinking practice, then I don’t know how else to say this but… you are falling behind.
8. Health is the Ultimate Flex
Forget outward symbols of success like fast cars, fancy clothes, or shiny watches.
The truest status symbol is a fit body.
There’s no faking that.
You either put the time in… or ya didn’t.
your body is like a bank account where everyone can see the balance
— Shaan Puri (@ShaanVP) June 19, 2023
EVERYBODY at this weekend’s retreat had made meaningful deposits in the account that actually mattered most…
Their Health.
P.S. This obsession with health wasn’t born from vanity, but from a deep understanding of what Seneca meant when he said:
The healthy man wants 1,000 things. The sick man wants but one.
If you don’t have your health, you have nothing.
9. Whole Life Billionaires
Time for one last cliche:
Money doesn’t solve all your problems, but it does solve all your money problems.
And the truth is, many of life’s most fundamental problems (food, shelter, safety) can be solved with money.
But… beyond a certain level, money isn’t terribly interesting.
It’s certainly not interesting enough to dedicate your entire life to pursuing it simply for the sake of acquiring more.
This becomes very obvious when you hang around with people who have tapped into a higher purpose for their lives beyond simply chasing money.
See, none of these rockstars were chasing money…
They were all chasing something else…
Purpose Driven Lives
Which brings us full circle. Back to when I was living in that van and wrestling with questions of how to make an impact on the world.
In spending the weekend with these incredible people, I was reminded of this simple truism:
You cannot consume your way to fulfillment. It can only be created.
And so here’s my challenge to you this week:
Go create something.
(And then shoot me an email or DM. I want to see what you amazing people are up to!)
Until next week,
Stay Hyperfocused,
AV
From YouTube This Week:
The only reason Alex Hormozi is successful.
Want to go even deeper?
1. Ever felt like Sisyphus, pushing that boulder of focus uphill? ADHD, distractions, procrastination- all fighting to knock you back. 💥
Welcome to the Hyperfocus Dojo! 👊 It’s your secret ninja training ground to master your brain, win this war and live your dream life.
The Hyperfocused Masterclass: the exact system I used to overcome ADHD, write a bunch of books, build some successful businesses, and acquire a whole lot of real estate.
2. If you’re in relentless pursuit of doing less, but better, than check out my podcast, Amplified Impact, for a quick-hitting daily dose of motivation and inspiration.
