You Don’t Want To Be The Smartest Person In The Room
The Amplified Impact Podcast
July 26th, 2023
I want to open up and share one of the most challenging lessons I’ve ever had to learn.
It’s a lesson I’ve had to relearn multiple times throughout my life because, to be honest…I’m a slow learner.
There’s something inside me that constantly struggles against this idea.
I’ve always had this desire to be perceived as confident, competent, and intelligent.
Throughout my younger years and even into my 30s, this desire to be seen as intelligent led me into debates, correcting people…and sometimes even being a know-it-all.
But there’s a hard truth I had to come to terms with…there are no prizes given for being the smartest person in the room.
I’ve realized that the rooms we want to be in are full of people smarter than us, not because we’re inferior, but because we have so much to learn from them.
So if you’re facing similar struggles that I did..know that you’re not alone.
Embrace discomfort, surround yourself with people who challenge your beliefs about yourself, and you’ll find that you’re capable of so much more than you ever imagined.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“And so the rooms that you really want to be in are full of people who are smarter than you because it’s only by being surrounded by people who have things to teach you.”- Anthony Vicino
LEAVE A REVIEW if you liked this episode!!
Let’s Connect On Social Media!
instagram.com/theanthonyvicino
Join an exclusive community of peak performers at Beyond the Apex University learning how to build a business, invest in real estate, and develop hyperfocus.
Learn More About Investing With Anthony
Invictus Capital: www.invictusmultifamily.com
Multifamily Investing Made Simple Podcast
Passive Investing Made Simple Book: www.thepassiveinvestingbook.com
Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino [00:00:00]:
So today I want to share with you one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn. And it’s one that I’ve I’ve relearned multiple times throughout my life. But the key word there is relearn because I’m a slow learner and there’s just something in me that continually struggles against this idea that I’m going to share with you guys. There’s a part of me that is so tied up into who being perceived in a particular way, in being known as a particular thing is crafting an identity that I want people to see when they look at me. And when I was younger, all throughout my twenty s and if I’m being really truthful all through my 30s, it’s still something I struggle with. I’ve always had this desire to be seen as this confident, incompetent, and intelligent person for, for whatever reason, intelligence has just always been this thing that I’ve held in an incredibly high regard. My dad, I think, is probably what started this. In a lot of ways, I think my dad might be the smartest man I’ve ever met.
Anthony Vicino [00:01:09]:
When I was little, every little boy looks up to their dad and thinks like he’s a superhero. My dad was in the military and gone a lot. And so when he was back, I felt like that larger than life persona was exacerbated in a lot of ways because my interactions with him were so few and far between growing up. Well, not like few and far between he was there, but different than if he was there every single day. And one of the things I really remember about him and how people talk about him is how intelligent he was, how smart and he was, he was just incredibly sharp and very engineer oriented and very mathematical like you’re very typical book smart. And I saw how everybody held him in high regard because of that thing. And so it became very important for me and my own personal identity to be associated with as being smart, as being intelligent. And so growing up, I always felt this need to prove that to get into fights, into debates and into corrections and being the know it all that says well actually, blah blah blah blah blah.
Anthony Vicino [00:02:18]:
And I had this tendency to explain things to people and maybe this would fall into the category of mansplaining even. But my family, they came up with a joke. They had a nickname for this, which was they would just say thanks Anthony. Which is when somebody would explain something that everybody in the group already understood or knew. Now, one of the things that really bothered me about that concept though, was I could tell in a lot of cases people would use that, like my family, in situations where they didn’t really understand it in the way that I was trying to explain it. And so there was like this gap between in my ability to communicate the thoughts that I had in my head and to do it in a compelling impactful way. And that’s a different lesson, different takeaway for a different day. Like how do we effectively communicate these ideas that we have in our head? But what I want to talk about today is how there are no prizes given for being the smartest person in the room.
Anthony Vicino [00:03:15]:
And what’s interesting is that every room reverts to the mean, which makes sense if you’ve heard of you are the average of the five people that you hang out with. And so if you look at the average intelligence or the average successfulness or whatever, like whatever, the characteristic is the health of the people in the room around you, it will all revert to the mean. So that means if you are below the mean, you’re going to get pulled up. If you’re above the mean, it means you’re going to get pulled down. And so for me, so much of my identity was I wanted to be known as like the guy who had all the answers. He was smart and I didn’t want to be a know at all. But that’s how it came across. And what I realized is that because there are no prizes given for being the smartest person in the room and because we know that the average reverts to the mean, in fact, you don’t want to be the smartest person in the room because that means you’re just going to get pulled down.
Anthony Vicino [00:04:15]:
And so the rooms that you really want to be in are full of people who are smarter than you because it’s only by being surrounded by people who and I’m not saying intelligence as a thing as being smarter, but being around people who have things to teach you. And every room, I do believe, has something to teach you. And so whether or not you’reverting to the mean, you’re being pulled up or you’re being pulled down is just a matter of which rooms you choose to occupy and then what it is that you’re hoping to get out of that room. And that’s not to say that you should avoid certain rooms altogether. Certainly there are rooms that are just not probably worth accessing, but we all have something to learn from other people. And if you go into the room assuming that you’re the smartest person in there, that you have all the answers, then you’re going to be closed off to learning, you’re going to be closed off to growing. And because there are no prizes given to being the smartest person in the room, but there are in fact prizes given in life for people who are able to learn the most and then apply the most. We should always be in a state of learning and gathering and not assuming that we’re the smartest person and not being the person who has to have all the answers.
Anthony Vicino [00:05:18]:
Because truthfully, there’s not a lot of upside to having all the right answers. Because when you go into the world with that perspective, I have everything figured out. You’re closed off to the possibility that you’re wrong. You’re closed off to all the alternative paths that you could pursue. And this was so difficult for me. And I still get triggered when people like my family, they know how to push my buttons. When people say, oh, you just always have to be right. That was a really hard one for me growing up.
Anthony Vicino [00:05:54]:
And truthfully, it still is. Like, if we’re having a conversation, we’re having a debate, and somebody goes, oh, he just always has to be right. Something about that sets me off, and it’s a struggle that I’ve had to wrestle with because in a lot of ways I know that my ego is tied up into this idea of always being right. I know that. But the ego defends itself in such slippery, interesting ways. It justifies well, it’s not that I have to be right. It’s just that I happen to be right in this instance, right? If you’ve ever used that one. Or it’s not that I care about being right or that I am right.
Anthony Vicino [00:06:25]:
It’s just I want to get to the right answer, right? That can also be an ego defense mechanism. And I just share this with you guys because I had a really remarkable, positive weekend a month or so back at that creator event that I talked about in previous episodes. And in there, I definitely didn’t feel like I was the smartest person in the room and that there were so many things, so many nuggets to take away, especially in the context of creation and YouTube and social media. Like in those domains, other people are far smarter than me. And so stepping into those rooms where I’m a beginner or I’m I’m going to use the word inferior, I hope you take that in the right context. I don’t mean that I’m less than, just means that I know less than on those subjects and those people that I come away feeling like I’ve grown so much more as a result of having put myself in those rooms. Now, the thing is, it’s very uncomfortable. It’s very uncomfortable going into those rooms because you can’t fool the A players, right? They look over and they know where you’re at when you’re really good at your game, your craft, you can tell where other craftsmen are on their journey.
Anthony Vicino [00:07:28]:
And so you have to be okay being seen for what you are and for what you’re not yet, and what you’re trying to be. And that takes a lot of vulnerability to be that transparent, to be like, to wear that in front of people that you maybe look up to or you admire. And so I share that with you because this is a struggle that we all, I think, will have at different points in our journey. So maybe just hearing that you’re not alone in that and that in fact, you do need to be pushing yourself outside your comfort zone into those rooms with people who make you feel a little bit less than not. In a negative way. Like they’re not putting you down, but that they are challenging the beliefs that you have about who you are and what you’re capable of. And hopefully in that challenge, you realize you are capable of, yet so much more. So I hope this brings you guys some value.
Anthony Vicino [00:08:15]:
As always, thank you for being here. I’ll catch you back here around these parts tomorrow, but until then, stay hyper focused, my friend.
This Week On YouTube
These 3 Daily Habits Made Me A Millionaire in 3 Years
Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you:
1. Unleash your hyperfocused mind to dominate life, business, and everything in between? Here’s how:
→ The Hyperfocused Masterclass: the exact system I used to overcome ADHD, write 12 books, build 4 businesses, and acquire $70M of real estate.
There are a handful of spaces left in The Hyperfocus Masterclass for those who want to snag the early bird preorder special discount of $49.
Email anthony@anthonyvicino.com to let me know you want on the waitlist.
2. Learn to passively invest in commercial real estate with better returns, less risk, and zeo hassle.
→ Invictus Capital: my real estate private equity firm.
→ Multifamily Investing Made Simple: Top Apple Podcast.
→ Passive Investing Made Simple: Amazon Best Selling Book with 100 5 star reviews.
3. Want more like this? Check out these 3 popular articles from the vault:
