Most Of Us Are NOT Okay Failing… Here’s Why.
The Amplified Impact Podcast
September 7th, 2023
Entrepreneurship often involves embracing failure as a path to success.
It’s like a coin with failure on one side and success on the other. In the beginning, the coin often lands on failure because we’re not experts yet.
But every flip of that coin represents an opportunity for progress…I like to think of it as a 0.01% shift toward success with each try.
Here’s the twist: Many say they’re fine with failing, but they’re not okay with failing publicly.
It’s one thing to talk about it, another to face the criticism of friends, family, or coworkers.
I’ve experienced this too. My early books didn’t gain traction, and my close circle didn’t take them seriously.
Now, with success, they’ve changed their tune.
So, will you let fear of judgment from those who aren’t thinking about you most of the time hold you back? Don’t.
Take that step into the unknown. It’s how you reach new heights.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“It’s okay to take that step forward into the unknown, because that’s the only way to do it. It’s the only way to get to someplace new is to take a step on a path you’ve never walked.”- Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino:
I’ve noticed something really interesting recently about the entrepreneurship culture that is prevalent on social media. One of the things that we hear over and over and over and something that I talk about a lot, which is that you have to be comfortable failing your way to success. That success is just the other side of a coin. And on one side it’s failure on the other side of success. And for most people, that coin is weighted so that it lands on the failure side 99.99% of the time. And that makes sense because in the beginning, when you start doing a thing, you suck at it. You’re not very good. You don’t have anything really going in your favor.
Anthony Vicino:
So against the cruel probabilistic nature of the universe, which is against people who suck at things, you’re probably going to fail a lot in the beginning. It’s just the natural order of things. It’s how it goes. But that same coin, every time you flip it, it’s like another rep, another iteration, it’s another opportunity, another at bat. And you slowly, with each flip, each rep start to turn the tide. The probability of that coin landing on success. And the way I like to think about this, this is not tied into the fabric of the universe or reality or anything, but it’s how I think about it, and I find it helpful is that every time I flip the coin, the probability skews zero, zero 1% in favor of future success. So if that was I’m 99.9% likely to fail with this flip, then if I flip it again now I’m 99.9001% less likely or 99.89, whatever.
Anthony Vicino:
Anyways, hopefully you get the idea. I don’t know. Never do math in public. This is exactly why. Anyways, so the goal here is to keep flipping that coin more and more and more, and the more that you do, then the more likely you are to eventually succeed. And I do think that is the path forward. Now, when I tell you this, most people are like, yes, I get it. Of course you have to be accepting a failure.
Anthony Vicino:
It’s the way forward. That’s how growth occurs. I’ve yet to have anybody in the comment section on a LinkedIn post or Twitter post or Instagram post when I’m talking about the idea of failure. I’ve never seen somebody come in and be like, no, I hate failing. This is stupid. I’m not going to do that. Everybody is like, no, I totally get it. Like, failure is just part of the process.
Anthony Vicino:
And yet on the one hand I see people say this, but then in their actions, I see them doing something completely different, which is they’re not even actually trying to do the thing. They talk about the failure, but really what they’re talking about is this idea of failure. That’s nice to talk about, but the reality of actually trying and failing at something, people are less okay with that. And what I’ve come to realize upon reflecting on this isn’t that we aren’t comfortable failing. Because I actually think all of those people who leave those comments and say, like, failure, yeah, I’m totally on board with this. I think in their heart of hearts, they do believe that, and I think they actually are okay failing. But what they’re not okay with is failing in public. I think that’s the thing that holds people back, really, at the end of the day, most of us, if we’re just left to our own devices, we would beat ourself up if we missed the shot, if we fail, if we don’t do the thing but we’d forgive ourselves, we’re really good at that.
Anthony Vicino:
We’re really good at forgiving ourselves. No, I think the thing that stops most of us from even trying to talk a big game, but not actually do and move forward is the fear of failing in front of our loved ones, in front of our friends, in front of our coworkers, right? And so it’s one thing to say, I’m going to start my business and I’m okay failing, but it’s another thing to actually leave your w two and to set off on uncharted waters because your coworkers are going to be like, you’re crazy, you’re silly, and your friends are going to say, what are you thinking? What do you know about starting a business and such and such? And your family is going to say, you should play it safe. That’s dangerous. Why would you do that? It’s risky. You’re throwing away a good thing, right? This is what they will say, and all these people are well meaning. They don’t mean to hurt you, but their judgments stop you from taking the action of making the leap, because you’re not necessarily afraid of failing, because you have faith and confidence in your ability to make do. And you think like, hey, even if it goes poorly, I can always go back to my job. However, you would have to go back to that job with the people who were judging you, and you’d have to live with the I told you SOS.
Anthony Vicino:
And I think it’s the I told you SOS or the fear of the I told you SOS that stop the majority of people from ever taking the leap towards the thing that they want to deep down do. And I was thinking about this because I was talking to a gentleman the other day who I met on Twitter. He has a fairly substantial Twitter following, and he was reflecting about how when he started his journey, he was a professional athlete, and the big struggle was when he started putting out content and started creating a personal brand. He would get razzed by all of the guys in the locker room. They would all make fun of him and joke around at his expense. And that’s really hard in the beginning, especially when you have not yet got traction. You’re still trying to prove it to yourself that you can do this thing, and it’s the worst time because you probably suck at the thing because you haven’t done it very much. You’re new to it, right? You’re not getting the positive reinforcement of people watching the thing and telling you it’s good, and your friends and the people that you love are telling you you suck and they’re making fun of you.
Anthony Vicino:
This is the lifecycle of every creator of every entrepreneur that I know. In my experience, my story, it’s very similar. When I wrote my first book, I was crushed by the fact that nobody in my family and my close network of friends bought my book and read my book. And I could tell they didn’t read it because when I would ask them about it, the way that they would talk indicated to me that they had not actually read it. Most of them were honest enough to be like, oh, I haven’t had a chance to get to it yet. All of these years later, almost a decade after that first book has been released, they still haven’t read it. And that was really hurtful at the time. And it was more hurtful because these were the people who they were like, this is a cute little pet project.
Anthony Vicino:
It’s nice for you. And they never took it seriously. And now all these years later, that I have success that I can point to, they come around now and they’re like, oh, we always believed you. And it’s like, no, you didn’t. You never did. You come around now because the overwhelming proof is there, and the rest of the world has come around to it, and now you have no choice but to accept it. But before, you really didn’t. And that’s really hard.
Anthony Vicino:
And for many years, I was failing publicly in front of them because these books weren’t getting traction. My first business, it did well, but it wasn’t like it hadn’t erased in the mind of the people that loved me how much of a fuck up I had been before. And so it took many, many years of consistently showing up and casting new votes for the identity I had for myself. And this is the person that I am before people started to change their perception of me. And it was hard. It was very, very difficult. And I share this with you because maybe where you are on your journey right now, you’ve already embarked on that, and you are failing in public, and you are struggling with those perceptions, that feedback that you’re getting. Maybe you haven’t yet taken the jump, and you’re afraid to.
Anthony Vicino:
And now hearing these words, you realize the thing that’s holding you back from taking that action is your fear of the I told you so from somebody that you love or respect. And my question to you is, are you going to let their judgment of you stop you from pursuing the thing that could be the game changer, the thing that could define your life, that could fulfill you, that could be the purpose, the meaning. Are you going to let somebody else’s judgment stop you? Because let me tell you this, they’re not thinking about you right now. They might think about you at times when they see you, and they’re like, oh, yeah, by the way, that thing that you’re working on, they’ll judge you then, but, like, 99.9% of the time, they’re not thinking about you. But you are thinking about you. You are thinking about your situation, your reality. And so are you going to let somebody’s fleeting judgment of you stop you from permanently changing the trajectory of your life? I surely hope not. I surely hope not.
Anthony Vicino:
So I wanted to share that with you guys because it’s something that I still struggle with even after all these years and maybe realizing that you’re not alone in this, that it’s okay. It’s okay to take that step forward word into the unknown, because that’s the only way to do it. It’s the only way to get to someplace new is to take a step on a path you’ve never walked. So I’m here for you. I believe in you. I support you. Good luck. God speed.
Anthony Vicino:
Thanks for being here, guys and gals, I appreciate you as always. We’ll catch you around these parts tomorrow. But until then, stay happy. Focus, my friend. Bye.
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