Never Meet Your Heroes
The Amplified Impact Podcast
September 22nd, 2023
Today, I want to dive into something that’s been on my mind lately…heroes, or rather, the dark side of our heroes.
You see, I got into reading biographies…and recently, I finished a book on Steve Jobs.
He was undoubtedly a genius, and he revolutionized the tech industry. But as I delved into his life, I realized something important.
Many heroes are heroes because they excel in one particular area. They’re extreme, obsessive, and singularly focused on their craft. And that’s why they’re the best.
But here’s the catch…to be the best often means sacrificing everything else. Steve Jobs, like many other iconic figures, wasn’t necessarily someone I’d want to emulate in all aspects of life.
The problem with heroes is that they’re often extraordinary in one domain, but unbalanced in others.
And yet, we tend to put them up on pedestals, striving to be just like them.
In reality, most of us won’t become the best at anything because we’re not willing to pay the steep price…the sacrifices it takes to reach those extremes.
So, instead of striving to be the best, how about aiming to be better?
Remember, heroes have their moments, but their lives might not be what you’d truly want.
So, define your own success, consider what winning in life looks like for you, and work backward from there.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“The goal had to shift from being the best to just being better. And the beautiful thing about better is that there is no finish line there. You can always be pursuing it.”- Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino:
So it was about like a year, maybe two years ago, I started getting into biographies, started reading a lot, a lot of biographies and just different histories of businesses, of different countries, of world events. And I kind of got off the treadmill of business books, self development books, fiction, and I just started finding a lot of enjoyment reading about the lives of, like, these really remarkable people. And in that time, I’ve read a lot of really cool biographies of really amazing people. And most recently, I just finished the book on. And I never really I’ve never been an Apple fanboy. Like I’ve been Microsoft my entire life. In many cases, I’ve been very vocal against Apple because I think the whole way that they built their ecosystem in terms of making it very sticky and hard to get out of, is both great from a business perspective for them. But then also, I think it makes it very difficult for the consumers to have freedom of choice and freedom of their own data and what they want to do with it.
Anthony Vicino:
All. That’s to say, I have never been very deep into the Apple world, and I don’t play with the products. And so reading about Steve Jobs was interesting because he really wasn’t a hero of mine in any kind of meaningful way, which I think for a lot of entrepreneurs, maybe the exception in the sense that a lot of people read about Steve Jobs and his life, and then they want to go emulate that. And there’s a lot of hero worship that goes on there. I never had that. I have other people that I look up to, but Steve Jobs really wasn’t one of those things. For? Maybe as I’m reading this biography, I was struck by the idea that when we meet these people that we look up to or that have all this fanfare, all this celebrity, all this hype, they’ve done big things, whether that’s Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Rockefeller, Roosevelt, Lincoln, like all these people that you read about. And they get put up on this pedestal as having done these incredible things.
Anthony Vicino:
It’s very easy to fall into this hero worship mentality where it’s like they succeeded. The fact that Steve Jobs created the iPhone, the iPad, the imac and revolutionized the way that we interface with our phones, with computers, with one another, he really did fundamentally design and develop products that change the fabric of human society. And that’s incredible. And so we look to that and we think that person’s got it figured out. That’s something to emulate, to strive for. But as I read about Steve Jobs in particular, I was really struck by the fact that the problem with our heroes is often that there are heroes because they are extreme in most likely at one domain. They’re very, very extreme on one particular skill set or personality trait or attribute. And because they’re so extreme on that they’re able to become the best at it.
Anthony Vicino:
And we tend to look at the best and think, like, the best is the best. That’s something admirable. But the problem is, to be the best at any one thing, it means that you have to be very out of balance in every other aspect of your life. To be an Olympic champion, you have to pretty much forego everything else that would pull you away from that ideal, that goal. Because if you don’t do that, then somebody else who has similar attributes and capabilities and resources, they will make that sacrifice and they will win. And it’s the same in business with Steve Jobs. He over indexed on certain attributes that then we look to and say, like, man, what would it be like to be like Steve Jobs or to be like Elon Musk? And we kind of look up to these people. But then when you start to read their biographies, start to unpack their lives a little, you see just how fucked up it is in so many ways where most of us would not want to trade places with, like you would not want Steve Jobs’relationships with his friends, with his family, with the world.
Anthony Vicino:
He, from what I can tell, was not a nice person and he didn’t live in a nice way, whatever that really means. I’m putting, like, value judgments here, and I don’t think that’s necessarily the right way to go. But I’m struck by, like, Elon is a similar one. I’m reading his biography at the moment. And these people, what makes them the best is that they are willing to sacrifice literally everything else in their life on the altar of that thing that they want to be the best at. And if that’s you, fantastic good, you do you. But for the rest of the people out there, and let’s let 99.99% of people that don’t want to be the best and they will never be the best because they don’t really have that obsessive mindset towards that thing. And so it’s not ever going to be in the cards for them.
Anthony Vicino:
Just recognize that these people that we put up on these pedestals, they’re great at that thing, but they’re maybe not worthy. They’re not something that we should try to emulate in all different aspects of their life. And the person who is well balanced and well adjusted in all different areas, they don’t really make the news. They don’t really stand out. So we don’t see those case studies. But I think that’s a much more enjoyable path forward rather than trying to be the best. This is something I’ve personally wrestled with when I was younger, and I have a lot of ego, and I still do, is this idea of being the best. And one of the things that I had to change in my approach was to realize that being the best really wasn’t ever going to be in the cards for me.
Anthony Vicino:
There was no one thing that I could over index on and really realistically become the best at, because I’m not willing to sacrifice everything else in my life to have that thing. I’m not willing to pay those costs. So the goal had to shift from being the best to just being better. And the beautiful thing about better is that there is no finish line there. You can always be pursuing it. And the only thing that you’re trying to be better than isn’t somebody else, but it’s yourself, who you were yesterday, and that gives you something to measure progress against. And I think progress at the end of the day is like the key to a life of fulfillment. If you can continually wake up every day and feel like you’re moving towards something with meaning and purpose and passion, I think that’s what we should look to, to emulate in our lives.
Anthony Vicino:
And a lot of these people that end up living a life worthy of having a biography written about them, you probably don’t want their existence, so take it with a grain of salt and just be careful with the hero worship, myself included. Like, if you’re watching this podcast, if you’ve been watching my videos, you consume my content. Do not put me up on a pedestal either, because there are certain things in my life that you maybe wouldn’t want to make the trade off for. So just get very clear about what does winning your life look like? What does success look like? Define it for yourself. And a great way to do this, I was listening to my budy Saw. He’ll talk about it is to imagine your 80 year old self and what does that person, what’s perfect day look like for him? And he’s like, you know, for me, it’s like sitting on the porch. My wife is next to me, our kids in their yard. Our grandkids are in the yard, and people are coming over to have a big dinner with me.
Anthony Vicino:
And he’s like, cool, I got to work backwards from that. Then what do I need to do to have my wife still love me and want to be there with me? Why? I have to be a great father. I have to be a great husband. I have to be a person worthy of being around. What do I have to do to have my kids want to come and hang out with me? Why I need to be present now, working backwards from that desired end state and then figuring out what do you need to take as a next step? I think that’s the way to go forward. But I was just thinking about this because I read a lot of biographies, and I just finished up that Steve Jobs book, and it just really hit me. I was like, man, I would never have wanted to be Steve Jobs, even if that some sacrifices just aren’t worth it. So be careful of what you’re sacrificing.
Anthony Vicino:
Be conscious of the prices that you’re paying. And if you are willing to pay that price, pay it. By all means, do it. But if you’re not, then don’t pay prices that are going to win you prizes you don’t want in the end anyway. So just be cognizant of that. That’s going to do for me, guys, I appreciate you as always. I’ll catch you back around these parts tomorrow. But until then, stay hyper focused, my friends.
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