There is No Such Thing as an Offensive Word
The Amplified Impact Podcast
December 10th, 2023
Ever had someone criticize your use of “strong” words?
Happened to me after a newsletter titled “How to Unfuck Your Life.” Some folks thought it detracted from the message.
But here’s my take: there’s no such thing as “bad” words…just tools for emotion and meaning.
I believe it’s about context. It’s the message that matters.
If the words fit the context, use them. And that’s what I did with that title…it matched the rawness of the message.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“We make problems out of things that aren’t actually problems.”
– Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino:
Every now and then, I get somebody reaching out who takes umbrage with my usage of certain words. Not the word Umbridge. Nobody’s ever complained about that word. That’s a fantastic, cool, awesome word. You don’t like that, you’re a crazy person. Now, the words that people typically will reach out in, maybe a newsletter in particular. A couple weeks ago, I did a newsletter called how to unfuck your life that was based off a video that we did. And, you know, there’s a lot of people, not a lot of people, maybe I think I got one person, maybe two people that reached out, and they’re like, hey, using profanity, using curse words, using that kind of language, detracts from the power of your message.
Anthony Vicino:
It doesn’t add anything. And I disagree. I 100% disagree. And I know this is a contrarian take, and this might maybe ruffle some feathers, but my stance on this is that there is no such thing as foul language. There is no such thing as profanity or curse words or whatever. Words are simply a vehicle for conveying meaning and emotion. If you don’t like the message, using different words isn’t going to change that. And if you do like the message, then who cares what the words were? The words are just the medium.
Anthony Vicino:
And the thing is that words have this ability to evoke certain emotions. So when I use the word fuck, that hits different than when I say fornicate, right? Or oh, drats, right. We can elicit different emotional reactions based off the words that we use. But the words themselves are not bad. They’re not evil. They’re not to be avoided. If anything, as a communicator, a storyteller, you should use every color on your color wheel. You should paint with all the colors of the wind.
Anthony Vicino:
And I wrote about this the other day on Twitter, and one guy in particular, he came back and he said, so if they aren’t foul or inappropriate, then you don’t care if I say nasty things in front of your daughter, and you’re not offended by insulting words directed at your wife. And to that I say, listen, the words aren’t nasty and disgusting. It’s the message you’re trying to convey with them. I can convey equally nasty messages without offensive words. The words aren’t the problem. The messages. And when we fixate on the words themselves, we’re losing sight of the trees and the forest and all the other things. We’re losing track of what actually matters, which is the message that’s trying to be conveyed.
Anthony Vicino:
So is using curse words a good thing? Is it foul or is it profane? It depends on the context of the message. If it’s in service of the message, then the words can then use them. If it’s not, then you’ve chosen the wrong words and it’s no different whether it’s an offensive word or a non offensive word. And I use offensive with air quotes here because again, I don’t believe in offensive. If you use the wrong word, your message is going to have less power. And so that’s a decision that you need to make as a storyteller, as a creator, is like, what is the right word? Given the context. In the context of how to unfuck your life, that was the right word. Because what I was trying to convey is a very deep, visceral reaction to the fact that my life sucked.
Anthony Vicino:
It was fucked. And sugar coating, that doesn’t sell the full picture of what was happening. So I don’t know. I wanted to share that because I think we tend to fixate sometimes on the wrong things. We make problems out of things that aren’t actually problems. Or at least that’s my perspective. I’d be open and interested to hear what the counterargument is. I’ve yet to have anybody make a persuasive counterargument as to why certain words should be avoided, but I’m open to it.
Anthony Vicino:
I’d love to hear from you guys. So shoot me a DM, shoot me an email. I will engage with it in good faith and try to come to a better understanding. If in fact you do think that these words should be avoided, but let me know if not, if you’re in the same camp as me, then rock on. You fucking rock. Okay, guys, that’s going to do it for me. I appreciate each and every single one of you taking the time to let me in your ear holes. I’ll do my best to honor that very sacred privilege, and that’s going to do it for me.
Anthony Vicino:
We’ll catch you in the next episode. For me, because creativity is one of my highest values, and yet creating things is hard. It is very hard. And my internal procrastinator doesn’t want to create things. It wants to sit and gets distracted and not do the work. And on those days when I fail to live up to my standard and my rule of creating something, I always, always feel worse for it. I always regret it. I always feel less than.
Anthony Vicino:
And so showing up and creating something is just one of the highest expressions for me, at least, this doesn’t have to be for you. But I do believe that fulfillment can only be created. And that’s why one of my core rules is to create something every single day. Rule number three is to write 1000 words every day. And this is kind of in the vein of creating something, but this is more just about clarifying my thoughts and taking the time to hone this craft and being very much more specific with creating something every day. That could be this video, this is a great example. I’m creating something right now that could not exist without me. But the writing, that’s sitting down, putting pen to paper, finger to keyboard, and that’s hard, it’s laborious, and it’s a process that continually requires discipline on my side to show up and do the work.
Anthony Vicino:
But literally every time I do it, I walk away having learned something new about myself or the world or coming to some new insight. And it’s a process that, more so than any other skill that I’ve acquired in my life, has had the biggest impact. Writing every single day. Thousand words. It’s a lot of words for a lot for most people, but for me at this point, it’s actually very doable. I can do that in like 40 minutes and 30 minutes if I’m really cranking. So it doesn’t take a ton of time, but it’s a foundational habit that trickles down and affects everything else in my life positively. Rule number four is to stop when the work is done.
Anthony Vicino:
And there’s two sides to this. There’s two sides. One is don’t stop doing the work until you finish. Keep doing it. Don’t quit just because you’re tired. Don’t quit when you lose motivation. You’re done when the job is done. But the other side of this is that as an entrepreneur or as a high achiever, you can have a very hard time leaving things behind, leaving work at work, and not taking it everywhere with you.
Anthony Vicino:
And so the other part of this is to know that when you have stopped, you need to have stopped, you need to put it away and be okay with that. And that’s something that I’m still working on these days. That’s the harder part of this one. Stop when the work is done. I don’t need to be told to keep working until it’s done. I will work well past that point. And that’s the problem. So having this as a rule, you stop when the work is done.
Anthony Vicino:
And again, that’s really hard because the work is never done. Technically, especially as an entrepreneur, there’s always more to do. But this is where getting clear about what’s it mean to win the day, defining the parameters of success early, and then holding yourself to that and giving yourself permission, or at least requiring it of yourself to stop when the work is done, the rest of your life will thank you. The last rule is to spend 1 hour every day with Jamie. And so that is make time for love and companionship, partnership. And it’s hard sometimes in the sense that we’re both very busy people with very ambitious goals in life. And getting that fourth rule, stopping when the work is done, is critical to being able to have that hour to spend uninterrupted, not on the phone, not on the computer. With that, it’s not always, like, the most high quality time in terms of like, oh, we’re just watching a Netflix show or something like that.
Anthony Vicino:
But important thing is to put in the reps, put in the time and making time for that, to make it a priority. So those are five of my rules. I don’t know what your rules are, but I’d love to learn about them. I’d love to hear about them. So shoot me a DM. Find me on Twitter at Anthony Vasino. Find me on Instagram at the Anthony Vasino. Or find me on LinkedIn at Anthony Vasino.
Anthony Vicino:
Or shoot me an email. Shoot me a comment. Let me know, what are the rules that guide your life that you found value in? So I’d love to hear from you guys. Until then, stay hyper focused, my friends.
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