DON’T give poor people MONEY

Today, I’m going to share with you a very controversial opinion that many of you will not agree with. And I encourage you just to hear me out, have an open mind. And it came about because I was having a conversation with my brother over the weekend. Him and I, we got together, we went for a walk around the lake, and at the end of it, we were talking about money. We were talking about his financial situation, and he was curious. He’s like, anthony, what’s your goal? Like, why are you doing this at this point? Because you’re at a point where you’ve made more money than even matters anymore. You have all the success you could possibly want. What is enough, enough? Why are you still doing this? What’s the goal of it all? And I told him, I was like, you know, it’s not about money anymore.

It’s just about impact. It’s about creating things. It’s about living a life that makes me feel good and spending as much time in my zone of genius as possible. But we got on the topic of money in particular, because he’s like, well, if you want to make an impact and you want to help people out, why don’t you just help me with my student loans? And he said it in jest. There was, like, this undertone of like, yeah, no, but really, why don’t you help me out with my finances with this credit card bill? You know, I have a kid coming, and, you know, I have all this student debt, and I want to start saving for the future. And we got into the idea, we were talking on that walk about career advice and what I would recommend for him to move up through the corporate ladder. And so I could tell, like, there was this edge of truth, of, like, hey, why don’t you help me money? And it wasn’t, hey, I’m asking you for help for money. There’s a very different thing.

Like, when somebody. When somebody I love comes to me and asks me for money and asks for help, that’s a very different situation than just this moment. And I told him, I think one of the worst things you can do for somebody who is struggling, chronically struggling with their finances is to give them money. And the reason for that is because by giving them money, you deny them, you rob them of the most important thing, which is the need, the desire, the compulsion to go and figure out how to win the money game on their own. When you give somebody money, they have no reason to go and learn. You’re subsidizing their life. It’s like the. The time to teach a man how to fish is not after you fed him.
It’s while he’s still starving. And I know that sounds brutal. I know it sounds heartless, but there’s truth there, because the starving man will take the lessons you give him. He will go implement them and execute them, because he has to make it work. His life depends on it. People approach problems, they solve problems differently. They approach the game. They play the game differently when their life is on the line, when they have to win it.
If I was to give you money in this situation to help you with your student loans, to help you with this thing, you would have no reason. No reason to go out and learn how to be fiscally responsible, how to increase your earning potential. You would have no reason to do any of that. And I want you to win the money game. More than anything, I want this to be a thing that doesn’t cause you stress, but the wrong way to do that is by giving people money. You give them the knowledge, you give them the resources, you give them the information, you give them the help in going and figuring it out, but you do not give them the money. My dad did me a favor, did me a solid. He gave me a gift many years ago when I found myself in the back of that vent, when my fiance kicked me out and I was $80,000 in debt, I had about $2,000 in savings to my name.
I was screwed. I was royally screwed. I called my dad, not knowing what to do, not knowing how he would be able to help or what he would offer. And what he came to me with wasn’t money. He gave me belief. He gave me conviction. He gave me the resources and the support to go and figure it out on my own. So he helped me go and buy a van with my remaining $2,000.
So now I’m down to $1,000. He drove me to the church to buy the van. He helped me fix it up. He gave me the belief that I could live in that thing for four months and gave me the belief that I could go get the skills necessary to finally figure this out on my own. But if he had given me money when my fiance dumped me, when I was in debt and I had nowhere to go, if he had just subsidized my life and said, here, have $10,000, go get an apartment, and we’ll figure this out, I would not have been as motivated to find the solution, to transform my life, to stop being the person that I was and start moving towards a person I knew I could be. I would have had no reason. I would have stayed put. And I know that because that is who I had been for so long.
That is what the credit cards had allowed me to do, was to continue subsidizing a life, to not face the problems, to not have the need to go and solve them. And it wasn’t until it all fell apart was finally in a place to say, fuck it, I need to figure this out. But I never would have gotten there if somebody had given me money at that most desperate, most horrible of times. Now, let’s pause here just for a second and make a caveat. I’m talking about people who are struggling chronically with finances. There are things that happen in life that come out of the blue. Medical bills and unexpected emergencies. That is a different scenario.
If my family comes to me, hey, I just got diagnosed with cancer, or so and so got hit by a car. I’m there. I’m there. But if you are asking for money to subsidize a lifestyle that you have chronically created for yourself through the ongoing daily decisions that you have made, then I will not help you with money. I will help you with something that’s so much more valuable, but I promise, in the moment, will not feel like it. I will support you. I will give you the belief. I will point you in the direction of the resources that you can use.

I will be there by your side, but I will not subsidize you. And I know that’s a controversial opinion for many of you, but I encourage you to think through that. I encourage you if you’re on the other side of that right now, if you’re listening to this podcast because you want to transform your life and you’re looking at your family or friends and people that have money and they’re not giving you money, and you have a little bit of a chip on your shoulder about this, I was there, too. I understand that feeling. Just know it doesn’t serve you. Reframe it and realize they are giving you the gift of believing that you can figure it out on your own. Because that right there is something that will serve you into perpetuity until the day you die. So I hope this brings you guys some value.

If it did, let me know. If it didn’t, don’t let me know. That’s going to do it for me, guys. We’ll catch you in the next episode. Until then, stay happy, folks. My friends.