Creating Your To Don’t List

One of the things I’ve come to realize over the years of studying, like, super successful people and just having been more in proximity to these individuals who I used to look up to on this pedestal, is just to realize that the thing that got them to where they are is often we look at it and think that it’s because they’re doing things that we’re not doing, that there’s actions that they’re taking. And this is why we fixate on habits and routines and getting really curious about what are these millionaire skills or habits or systems, and what are these tools that you’re using? And we fixate on this because we believe that they’re doing something we’re not doing. And there is truth to this to a certain degree. But from my experience, what’s been most profound is just to realize that often it’s not that they’re doing things you’re not doing, it’s that they’re not doing things that you are doing. And so they’re better at removing the things from their life that are sidetracking them, taking them off target, and diluting their focus. What I mean, for instance, is, let’s take Netflix as an example. You could look at somebody who’s further along the road than you, and if you’re like, I want to be like that person. What do they do? Oh, they wake up at 05:00 a.m.

And they do this convoluted morning routine, and then they start working. And you could do all the same things that they do. But if at the end of the day, when you log off of work and you go and sit down in front of Netflix, if they instead don’t do that and do something else, perhaps with that time, then that is right there, probably the thing that is leading to the bifurcation and the results that you’re achieving. And once I became aware of this concept, I started thinking about my to do list a little bit differently, and I created what I call the to don’t list. And this isn’t, like, a unique concept, but it’s one that served me very, very well. It’s just this idea of, instead of writing down, what are the things that I’m going to do in my day, which I think is a valuable exercise, for sure, I find just as much value in sitting down and writing out what are the things that I’m not going to do? What are those things that I know that I am prone to doing and that will take me away from my goal and that will make me feel terrible about myself. If I go do those things, I write them down. And there’s something about the act of physically articulating on a piece of paper in this permanent format.

What are the things that I’m not going to do that just makes it that much easier? When later in the day I’m tempted to do that thing, I have a little bit more willpower, a little bit more discipline because I’m leveraging a concept that Robert Chialdini talks about in his book influence, which is consistency. Humans have this desire to be consistent. So when we believe something about ourselves, we tend to act in alignment with that belief. When we say something, we tend to move in alignment with whatever that thing is that we said. So we can use this idea of consistency to leverage our psychology in our favor by writing down, I’m not going to eat sugar at 03:00 p.m. I’m not going to drink a mocha today. I’m not going to play chess until after 05:00 p.m. Whatever the thing is that is your particular foible or foibles.

Writing it down then elicits the sense of consistency and it makes it much easier to resist that thing later. Okay, so that is an idea that I really want you to explore because there are probably, my guess is there’s probably three things in your life that if you were to eliminate, would have a massive impact on moving you meaningfully towards your goals. For instance, just off the top of my head for myself, I know that the big ones are no artificial sugars before really if I can avoid it ever. But like, no sugary drinks, no sugary foods. And writing that down, no sugary foods makes it so I’m not tempted to reach for the sugary dessert midday or to get the mocha. I might just get the coffee instead. Right. Number two is chess.

I tend to fall down chess rabbit holes throughout the day and this is a form of video game, form of mindless entertainment. And so just being aware, hey, you’re not allowed to do that until after a certain point in the day. Another one is getting to bed at 930 or 09:00 or whatever time the bedtime is for you. For me, that’s, I’m not going to miss my bedtime. Just writing those things down has a massive impact on my ability to show up and execute on the thing like I want to. And so take this idea, run with it tomorrow when you sit down and create your to do list, which you probably do because you’re awesome and that’s a great system. Take a moment just to write down what are the three things that you’re not going to do. Write down your to don’t list and keep doing that every single day and I think you’ll find that it’s actually quite easy to resist those things now and you’ll be surprised about how much more you get done and how much better you feel about yourself as a result.

Because I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me feel worse about myself than when I do a thing I know I shouldn’t do right? So if I have that mocha, if I play chess at twelve afternoon like when I should be working on something else that makes me feel bad. So anything that I can do to act in alignment with the person that I want to become is a great system. So give that a shot. Let me know how it works out for you guys. I hope this brings you some value. We’ll see you back here tomorrow. But as always my friend, stay hyper focused.