Don’t Be A Slave To Your Emotions
The Amplified Impact Podcast
June 13th, 2023
Today, let’s dive into a topic that’s been bugging me lately: emotional control.
Picture this….I’m strolling towards the Invictus headquarters, just a hop, skip, and a jump away from my doorstep here in downtown Minneapolis.
And guess what? All hell breaks loose on the road. Honking horns, screaming matches, and finger-flipping galore.
It got me thinking about the connection between emotional control and success.
If you want to achieve financial freedom, you gotta break free from the clutches of your extreme emotions.
Imagine that you’re an entrepreneur or an investor, and you crave control, right?
You want to call the shots, do things your way, wherever and whenever. That’s the dream.
But here’s the thing…if someone or something has the power to push your buttons, to change your mood, you’re not really in control, are you?
Successful folks…or those who’ve made it big….have one thing in common: they’ve mastered the art of emotional control.
And it’s a key player in personal development.
Sure, we focus on acquiring skills, staying healthy, and all that good stuff.
But if we don’t tame those wild emotions, we’re missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“And the outcome that I think most of us are trying to work towards is being at a place of balance, of contentment, of peace, of mind, of the ability to be unperturbable. That’s my goal..”- Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino [00:00:00]:
I was walking into the Invictus headquarters this morning, it’s only like a 300 meters walk from my front door here in downtown Minneapolis. And as I was approaching the front door of the headquarters there’s, you know, this main street that runs right in front of the building and this car cut off another car and it was a nightmare of honking horns, of screaming, of yelling, of fingers getting flipped and people just generally losing their hair. Noodle, it was crazy. And it got me thinking about emotional control and how the most successful people that I have had the fortune of being around and observing whether that’s close up or from a distance, they have incredible emotional control. These are people. They don’t fly off the handle in a rage, they don’t sulk when things go wrong, they don’t get overwhelmed in a crisis. And it got me thinking that there’s a strong enough correlation here that I feel confident in saying that if you want to be successful you really need to master your emotions. Your emotions.
Anthony Vicino [00:01:14]:
And I would go so far as to say that financial freedom begins by freeing yourself from the tyranny of your extreme emotions. If you cannot control your anger, then you are a slave to your anger. Think about that. We as entrepreneurs or investors or whoever seeking financial freedom or seeking this life of control, that’s the thing that we want. We want control. We say freedom, but really what we want, we want control. We want to be able to say what I want to do, when I want to do it, where I want to do it, with who I want to do it. That’s the dream.
Anthony Vicino [00:01:47]:
I think for most people listening to this podcast, at least it is for me. That’s what led me down the path of entrepreneurship. I wanted control. I call it freedom. But really I want control. But you don’t really have control. If somebody else has the ability to trigger you, to set you off, to put you in a different mood, if somebody else can say or do something in a way that alters your state, then you do not have control. Think about that.
Anthony Vicino [00:02:13]:
Think about how important it is that you remain in control and master of your emotions. I think this is why so many successful people talk about the power of Stoicism in their own life. So many like it is ridiculous to me at this point. How many successful people have read Marcus Aurelius or Seneca or Buddhist and Zen philosophy? The very very similar concepts just about equilibrium, equanimity, finding the middle path and never fluctuating too hard to one side or the other. And I’m not saying that all emotions are bad. Joy is a great emotion. I’m not saying that you can’t feel sorrow either. But letting those things dictate and regulate your actions, well, that’s something I don’t see successful people doing.
Anthony Vicino [00:02:54]:
I don’t see that happening. And I’m not saying I got this figured out. I’m not claiming to be a successful person who has mastered emotional control. I’ll share what is hard for me. I get annoyed very easily. I don’t get angry, but I get very, very annoyed. And it doesn’t take a lot to put me into a state of annoyance. It could be something not going to plan.
Anthony Vicino [00:03:19]:
It could be somebody changing my schedule. This is usually the way that triggers me the most, is when something messes up my calendar, because, you guys know, I’m all about structure and time block, and those are really important. And I become very, very rigid, and in a way, I become a slave to my calendar. And so then if it changes in any way, I feel adrift. And that’s a very weird it’s a bad feeling to me. And while I know it’s not the end of the world, it’s not a big deal, it does annoy me, and it can spiral to the point that it negatively affects my relationships with Jamie, my relationships with my coworkers. It can be very problematic. And I do not yet have the maturity or the strength of emotional control to flip the switch instantaneously, always.
Anthony Vicino [00:04:07]:
Most of the time I do, most of the time I can. But it’s a spectrum. It’s not about like, do you have this skill or do you not? It’s like, to what degree and in what scenarios? And for me, I’m much further along than I used to be, and I’m probably much further along than a lot of people, but there’s still so much further to go. And so this is one of the things that I am in pursuit of when it comes to personal development. When we think about what does it mean to personally to develop our skills, to become the self help, whatever, we think about skills and acquisition, like skill acquisition and having good health and all that stuff. But for me, the journey that I’m on right now that I think the most about is emotional control. How can I move through life with poise and equanimity? Those are some concepts that really drive a lot of my actions right now. And I’m working on understanding different ways of controlling my state through my physiology that will then translate to controlling my emotions, because we are a biological machine, and your emotions are really just a chemical reaction occurring within your chemistry, within your body.
Anthony Vicino [00:05:18]:
And so if we can understand what’s happening there, we can then combat that chemistry with maybe more advantageous chemistry. And so I’m playing with that. Breathing exercises, using different olfactory scent manipulations to get recentered get back in the zone, let’s say. But I want to share this with you guys because I certainly don’t have this figured out. It’s still a journey. I just want to share it because I think the first step in getting to your desired destination is to recognize what that destination is going to look like starting at the end. What’s the outcome that you’re trying to work towards? And the outcome that I think most of us are trying to work towards is being at a place of balance, of contentment, of peace, of mind, of the ability to be unperturbable. That’s my goal.
Anthony Vicino [00:06:10]:
I want to be unperturbable. And please, God, don’t ask me to spell that. That would be not good. I would lose that spelling. Be but those are some thoughts that I’ve been thinking about. I hope it brought you some value this time. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. If it didn’t, that’s okay.
Anthony Vicino [00:06:27]:
I’m not going to let it upset me. I’m going to learn what I can from that and then try to come back tomorrow even better and bring even more value. But until then, my friend, you stay hyper focused.
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