Don’t Surround Yourself With People Who Think Like This

So we hear all the time that you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with, that your network is your net worth and all these other cliches. And we talk about how one of the quickest ways, if you want to transform your life is to transform your environment, transform the people that you hang around with. Because in one way or another, the people are either pulling you up to their level or they’re pulling you down to their level. And so we can do so much to influence the direction of our growth, whether that’s up or down, by simply deciding who we’re going to hang out with, by being more selective and being intentional about the people that we surround ourselves with on a daily basis. And I wanted to share with you guys a little thought that I had the other day about how you can choose or how to think through this selection process. And it’s very simple. The people in your life who only ever want to talk about the past, well, it’s typically because they lack a plan for their future. And that might be broad and overarching and a little bit of a generalization, but in a lot of cases it’s true.

The people who want to spend all their time talking about the past and what was, it’s typically because they don’t know where they’re going. They don’t have a clear plan or a clear vision of their future that they’re working towards. And so it’s safer, it’s more comfortable to focus on the past. And if you find that you’re hanging out with people who only ever focus on the past, you will live in that place as well. And honestly, the past is not a great place because it’s already done, right? You’ve already been there, done that. It’s not changing. Talking about it’s not going to change it. And it’s coming at the expense of the present moment in that future that you could be building.

If you, instead of turning around to look behind you at where you were, just to look forward and say, where am I trying to go? And that little turn is actually so surprisingly rare in the world at this point that very few people actually stop to look forward in life and say, where am I trying to get to? What’s my goal here? What’s my vision for this life that I have? And when you start surrounding yourself with people who don’t focus on the past, focus on things that they’ve accomplished in yesteryear and how good it was in the good old days, and instead they’re focused on what they’re building. And every day they’re excited about the future and where they’re headed. That’s infectious. That energy. It will push you. It will push you to a higher, better self, a higher, better version of yourself. Now, this is very difficult. I think in the beginning of your, like, entrepreneurial journey is a lot of the friends and family that you have right now.
You have built this robust history with, and you’ve lived so many lives with them and done so many things, you’ve experienced so many amazing things. Right? And it’s very natural for our friends and our family that we’ve known our entire life to want to continue fixating on that and reliving those good old days. But it’s very hard to grow in that environment. It’s very hard to grow when you’re always looking back. It’s hard to climb the mountain with your back to the peak. And that’s not to say that you need to eliminate those people from your life. Just be aware that that’s what happens when you hang out with them is that they are focused on. On what’s behind, not what’s in front.
And for these people, it’s very scary when you decide to turn around and face the front and face forward and direct your eyes towards the horizon and say, where am I trying to go? People with a very clear plan for their future make it very uncomfortable for people who don’t to just be your pursuit of your greatness. The light that you’re emanating as you move towards this goal you have for your life, it causes the people in your life who are not doing that, who do not have a plan for their future, it causes them to become aware of the fact that they don’t know, they don’t have a plan, that they’re not really going anywhere. And that makes a lot of people bitter, makes a lot of people uncomfortable. And the easy response is to lash out and to say, you’ve changed. You think you’re better than us and all this and that. And the other thing, I’m trying to tear you back down and get you to turn around and face the past. And I see this limiting a lot of people depending on what kind of friends or family environment that you come from. And I think just by being aware of that simple fact that the status quo is to keep you where you are safe and secure with who you are at this moment and living in the past, because that is, that is set in stone.
We know what to expect. It doesn’t change it doesn’t transform. And the idea of change and transformation is so scary. For the average person, change is inevitable, and yet they want to limit it as much as possible. And so what ends up happening is that change just manifests in their life as a result of the universe’s whims, not as a result of their internal agency. The change that occurs in their life is when that car side swipes them on a Tuesday, when their body breaks down because they haven’t been working out. It’s when the universe extols its toll on them for the decisions they have or have not made. Whereas for somebody like you, listening to a podcast like this, that is all about how do we maximize our return on life? How do we amplify our impact for you, you are an agent of change.

You’re not afraid of it. You run towards it and you’re crafting this life into the unknown. And as a result, the universe bends to your will. And of course, there’s going to be these instances where the universe is going to try and smack you down, and that will happen. But you, being the person who is comfortable with transformation, with change, are more able to handle it. And so I wanted to share this today, because I’ve been thinking a lot about it, is that the people who only ever want to talk about the past do so because they have no plan for the future. It’s just an interesting idea to noodle on. Think about it today, journal on it, see if it.

See if it rings true for you and your. Your experiences with the people in your life. And if it does create a game plan to go make a change, it’s going to do it for me. I’ll catch you guys in the next episode.