Giving Yourself Permission to Relax

Alright, so we’re diving in once again into some of the questions or some of the problems that I’ve been seeing with entrepreneurs who’ve been applying to join the beyond the apex coaching program. And one of the things that we did on that is you have to, you know, you have to apply, you have to share with us what is the biggest problem that you’re facing inside of your business right now. If you had to wave a magic wand, what would you fix? And this has been amazing because it’s given us a really good insight into how people think about their businesses, what they’re struggling with in real time, so that we can cultivate content that actually helps solve the problems that you have. And this is one of those problems I wanted to share with you today. And I think it’s a problem that a lot of us can relate to. See, this problem is all around the feeling of slacking or being lazy or simply being irresponsible by allowing ourselves to take risk, rest, even though we haven’t hit our goals yet. Because even if we haven’t hit our revenue goals. And I think this is, you know, when we talk about entrepreneurship, it’s very easy to think that it’s all about the grinding and putting in the work and that’s so much of it, right? Like you have to be willing to work hard.

But one of the hardest things that you will face as an entrepreneur is that you can only do so much and that your battery is eventually going to deplete itself. You cannot pour your entire cup out otherwise it is empty and you can’t help anybody with an empty cup. Right. The key is that we have to fill our cup to overflowing and then from our overflow fill the cups of others. And for that to happen is we have to make time and space for us to rest, to recharge, to get mentally right into the zone. Right. And the hardest part about that when you’re an entrepreneur is that you are the one who makes your schedule. You are the one that has to hold yourself accountable.

Nobody’s going to come and tell you that you have to do the work in the same way nobody’s going to come and tell you that you have permission to take a break. So it’s you as both the boss and the employee in your mind that are struggling. Because whenever you decide to take a break to get vacation, the boss side of you is like, what are you doing? You’re leaving money on the table that you’re not ready yet. You’re leaving opportunity. This whole thing isn’t, it’s going to fall apart. This is irresponsible. We all struggle with this. And how you reconcile this will dictate how you’re able to show up in other areas of your life.
And one of my big ambitions is to help entrepreneurs maximize their return on life. And that’s not just within their business, that’s in all different domains. And so here’s two ideas that I find really, really helpful for giving myself the permission to take those breaks and to take the steps away. Number one is you have to define what winning looks like. So I’m a big fan of defining, like, what it looks like to win each day. Sitting down when you’re putting together your to do list for the day and saying, what would it look like for today to be a win? What would it look like for this week or this month, this quarter to be a fantastic win. And a lot of times when we do that, we set these really big, hairy, audacious goals because we think that we need to be thinking so audaciously right when in the reality. But what ends up happening is because we set those goals so big, we feel the weight of that pressure crushing us.
And as a result, it makes it difficult to show up and actually do the work that’s required. And better for me has been instead of setting the really big, audacious goals that then I feel terrible because I keep coming up short or I feel like I need to be burning the midnight oil every single day is I set my goals much more manageably, much more achievable, because I believe that momentum breeds momentum and that that is what will lead us on a consistent enough basis towards our goals. So instead of trying to, you know, take ten x actions, let’s focus on, you know, getting the ball moving and just keep it moving forward. And so when I sit down to define what winning the day looks like, I try to minimize it to three things. Like my three to three. What are the three things that if I were to accomplish today, that would be a victory. And then you have to give yourself permission if you go and above, beyond that, that’s fantastic. But at the end of the day, as long as you got those three things done, you can look in the mirror and you can be comfortable knowing that you put in what was necessary.
That’s the power of the future you and the past you. The past you dictates what winning looks like. Future, you just needs to look and say, did I measure up against the scoreboard? Now, the past you as you’re creating that schedule. You just need to be lenient with yourself. Don’t set the bar so unachievably high. And I know that is very tempting to do, but it will only lead to disaster. I promise you. It’ll leave you with this feeling of never having actually made meaningful progress towards the goal simply because the goal is so damn big.
So chunk it down, make it so that victory, so that success, is a bar set so low that you trip over it and you still succeed. That’s the magic. Okay. Now, the other tactic that I want to share here that I found incredibly valuable, and this took me a really long time to figure out, is to have a coach. Having a coach helps you because they can rein you in or push you forward as necessary. One of the things I really struggled with when I was a competitive athlete when I was younger, and I see this with all the really competitive, top tier athletes, is that they’re like thoroughbred horses. They just want to run, run, run. They will work themselves into the ground.
And for the most part, the top tier athletes, they don’t need to be motivated by the coach to go do the work. If anything, the value of the coach is in holding that horse back. And it is saying, you don’t need to work that hard today. Here’s what you’re doing. We’re calling it good. We’re putting the hay in the barn, and then no more. And that’s so counterintuitive. But even within the world of entrepreneurship, that can be very valuable.
I find it is this push in, this pull. We need somebody who’s simultaneously pushing us towards our goals and noticing when we’re phoning it in, because, again, you are accountable to nobody really in your business but yourself. And if you’re not a great disciplinarian or great at holding yourself accountable to the goals you set, like I was in the beginning of my journey, then you can find external accountability in a coach that’s very powerful. But the other side of that is the coach has perspective, and they’re able to help rein you in and say, you might need a break right now. You need to take a little bit of time away. It’s okay. And that external permission can be exactly what you need to go on vacation and shut your mind off, because you’re like, you know what? My coach said, this is what I need to be doing right now. I follow the instructions.
I found that so empowering as an athlete, and it took me a long time to figure that out as an entrepreneur as well. So I wanted to share those two things because I think they can massively help you on your journey. If you need help with coaching, I don’t know if I’m the right coach for you guys, but we are putting together the program. Beyond the apex is group coaching. There’s a. This is the most robust product that I’ve ever created to help entrepreneurs maximize every area of their life, including their business, including their personal life, all that stuff. So if you’re interested, go apply beyond theapex.com. We’ll see if it’s a good fit.

We’ll see if we can help push you forward or hold you back, depending on what you need. Otherwise, if you are looking for a coach and you don’t think that we’re a great fit for that, that’s totally fine. Reach out to me. I know tons of great coaches that I might be able to make a connection with. And I think this is one of the most powerful tools at your disposal. An easy way to level up your performance. Because, again, nobody at the Olympics goes there without a coach. Every single top tier athlete has a coach.

Almost every single top tier entrepreneur I’ve ever met has a coach or somebody that they work with. And so if that’s the game that you want to be playing, if you want to be at your absolute best, your peak performance, you need a coach as well. So hope this brings you some value. We’ll catch you guys in the next episode. Until then, stay hyper. Focus, my friends.