“If one felt successful, there’d be so little incentive to be successful.”
Alain de Botton
People tend to have a pretty myopic view of what their lives would be like if they suddenly discovered great wealth or famed accolades.
I’d travel the world and wake up every morning in a different exotic location.
I’d sip margaritas on a Mexican beach while listening to the waves crash onshore.
I’d never work another day of my life.
These sound like fantastic life-choices on the surface but dig a bit deeper and you expose the unvarnished truth:
None of these activities would ACTUALLY make you happy.
Now, now, I hear you shouting from the rafters: You don’t know me!
And while that’s technically true, I do know what drives motivation, life satisfaction, and overall happiness in the majority of the population, and none of it has anything to do with relaxation or leisure.
Don’t believe me? Then consider this: Why does Elon Musk work so darn much?
The man has more than enough money to never work another day. He could retire to any number of exotic villas the world over. He could pursue leisure with true dedication.
But he doesn’t.
Neither does Bill Gates. Or Warren Buffet. Or… a lot of successful people.
Why?
Because you, me, Bill, Warren, and Elon are all stuck on the Hedonic Treadmill.
That is, we’re in a constant state of adaption.
There is nothing to which a person cannot adapt, given sufficient incentive.
The Hedonic Treadmill is the reason we’re rarely satisfied for very long having completed a goal. We revel in victory for a hot second, then quickly grow acclimated. Within days, hours, and sometimes even minutes, we are in search of the next great thing.
Get a raise tomorrow and you’ll be on Cloud-9 for a month or two. In about six months, however, that raise will have lost its shine. You’ll have adapted to this new level of being and start considering what comes next.
This is why, despite earning more money over the course of one’s career, people’s net worth remains almost wholly unaffected.
As your income increases, so too does your standard of living.
This is the Hedonic Treadmill in a nutshell.
It is why no matter how much wealth, status, or fame you accrue, you will always desire more.
“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it.”
Victgor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning)
This is predominately the case because we are chasing pleasurable things that we think will make us happy.
Unsurprisingly, once we catch these white-rabbits, we’re disappointed to find that they weren’t actually the secret to happiness at all.
Well, actually, that’s not what happens.
What really happens is far sadder.
It is this:
We falsely attribute our lack of happiness to the quantity of the thing obtained.
Now you’re running faster on the Hedonic Treadmill in hot pursuit of more, more, more.
Let me just save you some time, energy, and a whole lot of blisters:
You’re chasing the wrong things.
The things society says will bring you happiness are a lie.
Flat out. End of story.
Disregard them.
Instead, here are the 4 things psychologists tell us you should start chasing.
Work To Make “Enough” Money
A well-cited article out of Princeton back in 2010 found that an individual’s life-satisfaction is not significantly improved beyond making $75,000/year.
So, yeah, making a million dollars a year sounds great on paper (just think of all the things one million dollars would allow you to do), but in actuality, you’re not any happier than you would be at $75,000.
Of these two numbers, one is significantly more achievable than the other.
The Five Cornerstones of Building Personal Wealth
Now, I don’t know your magic number, ’cause it varies depending on personal circumstnace. $75,000 is going to look a whole lot different to a single individual than it will to a mother of four.
Context matters, but one thing is clear, the obscene amounts of wealth you think you need are simply misguided.
Sit down and ask yourself what do you really want out of life?
Do you really want a Lamborghini? Will it really make you happy?
Sure, that might be fun for a little while, but what happens when that new car smell fades and you’re off chasing the next hot thing?
No. This is no sort of recipe for a happy life.
In general, experiences vastly outweigh material goods when it comes to overall life satisfaction.
If you truly want to be happier, focus on being with people you like rather than buying shinier and shinier new toys.
Improve Your Health and Energy
The best investments you’ll ever make are the ones you make in yourself.
Your body is the vehicle carrying you through life, and your mind is the engine.
Cherish them. Treat them as the priceless commodities they are.
Abusing them by pursuing the short-term pleasures of drugs, alcohol, and Netflix are a surefire way to decrease your overall life satisfaction.
People are happiest when they are healthy, alert, and energetic.
Please, take care of yourself.
Eat well. Get enough sleep. Exercise daily.
3 Investments to Make In Yourself Today
Love your body. Love your life.
Spend Time With People You Enjoy
Life’s too short to waste time with people you hate.
Or, you know, it doesn’t actually have to be hate. It could just be apathy.
Don’t waste your time with people who do not lift you up, challenge you to be better, or ignite a deep passion.
Seriously.
The longest-running longitudinal study of mental health done by Dr. George Vaillant of the Harvard Study of Adult Development found that “the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships with other people.”
Jim Rohn said:
You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
I think this is absolutely true.
Surround yourself with excellent people and you will rise to their level.
Surround yourself with emotional vampires and, again, you will find yourself on their level.
As a quick addition to this idea, I want you to consider what it means for you to be the sort of excellent person people want to spend time with.
Are you uplifting? Encouraging? Energizing?
Or do you suck all the life from the room?
Be a force for good. Bring positivity to the lives of others and you might be surprised to find how much they reciprocate.
As Bill and Ted famously said: Be Excellent To Each Other.
Pursue New Challenges
You’re a curious little monkey. Don’t deny it. It’s hardwired into your prehistoric brain.
It’s what’s allowed us to ascend to the top of the animal kingdom.
Your insatiable appetite for novelty is a gift from the gods.
Use it.
Never be satisfied. Never grow complacent.
The highest levels of life satisfaction are inevitably found in the moments of Flow.
Flow is an intense mental state achieved by a person fully immersed and challenged to the near limits of their abilities in the operation of a task. Upon entering the flow-state, individuals report feeling energized, absolute concentration, and bliss.
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This the place you must continually strive to find.
Happiness lives beyond the border of your comfort zone. Be adventurous and seek it out. Never settle.
Less, Done Better, Is The Goal
You’re on a treadmill, my friend, burning countless calories in the pursuit of things you think (or at least hope) will bring you happiness.
They won’t.
That new fancy job won’t do it.
That new fancy car won’t do it.
That new fancy…anything won’t do it.
What will make you happy is relatively simple and almost universally obtainable.
- Make “enough” money
- Focus on Health and Energy
- Spend time with people you enjoy
- Pursue new challenges
Write these four steps out on a sticky note and paste it to your computer screen, to the front door, to your steering wheel, and to your significant others’ forehead.
Pin this list to the forefront of your mind and then get to work bringing them into reality.
