How to Stop Making Terrible First Impressions
The Amplified Impact Podcast
November 23rd, 2023
First impressions are lightning-fast judgments formed within moments of seeing someone.
I’ve learned a lot about making impactful first impressions, especially in professional settings.
Here’s the thing: how you enter a room matters.
Avoid looking preoccupied with your phone; instead, confidently enter with a smile and open body language.
Dressing with confidence is key too…comfort and style matter more than just fancy clothes.
Remember, the first impression lingers, so it’s worth perfecting.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“Recognize you only get one opportunity to make a killer first impression and then you’re kind of stuck with that.”
– Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino:
You. So here’s something that I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about throughout my twenty s. And it was only in the last couple of years when I really started going to networking events and conferences and trying to get around other people who were operating on a higher level than I was. I was trying to intentionally cultivate my network and expand. It was only when I started to try to get into the rooms with those people that I realized that I was doing a terrible job of making good first impressions. And there was a couple of different reasons for that which I’m going to help unpack. So maybe you can avoid my mistakes, but I think it’s super important, regardless of where you are in life and what you’re trying to achieve, to recognize you only get one opportunity to make a killer first impression and then you’re kind of stuck with that right now. The problem that I didn’t realize was that the psych research on this shows that people make their first impression of you within like milliseconds of seeing you, not just talking to you, but seeing you.
Anthony Vicino:
And so their first impression is formed probably most likely before any words actually come out of your mouth. How we think about showing up at all times when we’re in public, when we’re in a room full of people, is very, very important because people are forming their first impressions of us before we ever actually get an opportunity to present ourselves to them, right? Like I’m very good in a conversation when I’m talking to the person, I think charismatic and engaging and I can craft what I thought was a good first impression. But the truth was the first impression had already been made before I got to that point. And the thing that really helped me understand that was when you see somebody walk into the room and they’re dressed a particular way or they carry themselves in a particular way, you immediately categorize them. Like subconsciously. This is just what humans do is we’re all about putting people into buckets and categories. You either say, oh, that person looks friendly, that person looks mysterious, they look off putting, they look serious, they got resting bitch face, like all these things. We put people into these categories and then it’s very difficult to change those first impressions.
Anthony Vicino:
It takes a lot of intention and it takes a lot of intention on the person on behalf of the person who has formed the first impression to change it. And it’s unlikely that they’re going to have a lot of reasons to do that. So for instance, if you’re at a conference, you got 100 people there. Guy walks into the room and he presents himself in a particular way, that leaves you with a first impression that’s not terribly favorable. Even after you meet the guy, you’re going to need to spend a good amount of time talking, getting to know him before your first impression can start to be overwritten. Now, what’s more likely that you’re going to spend that time and energy getting to know the person who you’ve already subconsciously said like, oh, he’s a douche for whatever reason? Or are you going to put your time and energy into the person who your first impression of your initial reaction to when you looked at them and they made you feel a particular positive way, you’re probably likely to put your time and energy into that person, right? So the little tip, the little trick that I have found very, very helpful, there’s a couple, but the big one is to be really aware of how you enter rooms. So the way I used to enter rooms at big conferences and networking events because I’m going in there and it’s stressful and I don’t know people. I’m introverted and I don’t really want people to see me because I feel uncomfortable.
Anthony Vicino:
I try to enter in a small way, so I try to look like I’m not needy, like I don’t want to be there. So I’m on my phone. Typically I walk in texting or pretending like I’m reading something. That way I have an excuse to be a little bit distracted. I can kind of look out the corner of my eyes and see what people are doing. Kind of gauge the room rather than just walking in and then standing there not knowing what to do. Because then that looks like I’m very obviously out of place. At least with my phone, I can pretend like I’m busy.
Anthony Vicino:
And that’s the first impression you give off when you walk through the door with your head down, staring at your phone. You give off the impression that you’re not open, you’re not welcoming, you’re busy, you’re distracted, you’re not there, right? Nobody’s probably going to come up to you if you’re sitting there on your phone trying to look busy so that you don’t look lame and out of place, right? So the thing that you’re doing to try and make yourself feel more comfortable is actually making it harder for people to want to come and engage with you. Instead, the better way to walk through the room is just put the phone in the pocket, put your head up high, chin up, put a smile on and go through the door confidently. And then look around with a smile on your face. Try to make eye contact with people and when you do, give them a nod. Maybe even be like, oh hey, I’m going to come and talk to you, right? And then walk over and talk to them. That is going to leave a much better first impression than the alternative. Now the other thing, another sub hack of this is to just be aware of how you are dressing, just generally like how you’re putting yourself together to make sure that you always dress with intent.
Anthony Vicino:
This is something that I really struggled with when I was younger, my friends would always give me crap about being about dressing what they called hobo chic. So I always looked like a homeless guy dressed in nice clothes because I just didn’t wear them well, I guess. So there’s a big difference between wearing nice clothes and wearing clothes well, right? So wearing your clothes well means that they fit your body, fit your comfort, your style. You feel confident in them. So always make sure, regardless of if you’re going to a conference or to the grocery store, dress in a way that makes you feel confident. Because when you feel confident, you will enter the room with confidence. You will engage with confidence, and then that will be the first impression people have of you, is, oh, this person is a confident, competent person, and that is a great place to start a relationship. So hope this brings you guys a little bit of value.
Anthony Vicino:
As always, appreciate you guys being here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We’ll catch you back here tomorrow. Till then, stay hyper focused, my friends.
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