I Hate This Advice
The Amplified Impact Podcast
September 14th, 2023
Today, let’s dive into one of my least favorite pieces of advice, especially in the business world…”Fake it till you make it.”
Here’s why it doesn’t sit well with me.
The idea is simple: act like you’re already successful, and others will perceive you that way.
The problem? You’re essentially lying to yourself.
You know deep down that you’re not there yet, creating a disconnect between who you’re pretending to be and who you really are.
This internal dissonance can erode your self-esteem, which is the reputation you have with yourself.
So, why not stack proof instead of faking it? Confidence isn’t built on affirmations but on undeniable evidence of your capabilities.
It’s about walking the walk, not just talking the talk.
Remember, it’s not about the image you present to the world; it’s about the actions you take.
TWEETABLE QUOTE:
“Confidence is not screaming affirmations in the mirror. It is stacking undeniable proof that you are what you say you are.”- Anthony Vicino
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Episode Transcript:
Anthony Vicino:
Yo, what’s up everybody? Today I want to talk about one of my least favorite pieces of advice, especially when it comes to business. It is the Fake it till you make it. Now, the problem that I have with this is that in the beginning, you don’t have confidence in whatever thing that you’re trying to do, whatever skill, whatever endeavor you’re trying to build. And the idea behind this piece of advice, fake it till you make it, is it’s all about posturing and presenting yourself as something that you’re not, something that you’re hoping to and aspiring to be. And in the process of doing this, the reason people think that this is the right way is because others will then perceive you as that thing, right? And so it’s about perception management. But the big problem with Faking it till you make it is that you know inside that you are not yet the thing that you are pretending to be. And as a result, you are lying to yourself. And you can’t lie to yourself.
Anthony Vicino:
You can’t delude yourself without facing downstream consequences because your psyche will always be split between the side that you are presenting and the side that you know is more accurate in reality. And so when you see these people on Instagram, on LinkedIn, and they’re presenting themselves as like, I am the best productivity coach in the world, or I’m the best business marketing coach in the world, or I have this agency, I will help your company get 10 billion views on social media tomorrow. I understand why people think that’s the right thing to do, but all it does is one is it erodes your own confidence in yourself because you know you’re lying to yourself. And your identity is the manifestation of the beliefs that you have about yourself. And when you believe that you are being two faced and that you are not being in alignment with who you actually are in, say, the public perception or in the perception of your clients or whoever in your life, whatever area that you are faking it till you make it, then you will know that about yourself. You will realize I am not this person. And so you will erode your own integrity, your own reputation that you have with yourself. And at the end of the day, they say self esteem is the reputation that you have with yourself.
Anthony Vicino:
And so you need to guard that very, very carefully. If you have suboptimal self esteem, it maybe is resulting from the fact that you make promises to yourself that you don’t keep or you are presenting yourself to the world as something that you know you are not. And so behind this idea of faking it till you make it is getting out there into the world and taking the action despite the fact that you might not yet be ready. And I think in that aspect it is good advice, but more impactful. I think more helpful when you’re starting off into any endeavor is to not think just blindly, I can do this. You need to stack proof, right? I think Hormozi said it very well. He said confidence is not screaming affirmations in the mirror. It is stacking undeniable proof that you are what you say you are.
Anthony Vicino:
And so if you are new to something that’s okay, you can own that, take the steps necessary to improve, to build that confidence, to build that expertise, that experience, so that you could point back and say, this is what I’m capable of, this is who I am and this is why I belong here. This is why you should listen to me. I wrote about this on Twitter the other day. I said the strongest beliefs are not formed through faith or delusion, but through evidence. So our goal should be to stack proof, not affirmations. Now, affirmations, I think, are most helpful when they are reminders. Reminders of who you are and what you’re capable of when you take the moment to look back rather than spending all your time looking forward. Because as I’ve talked about before, the gap between where you are and where you’re trying to go is always expanding.
Anthony Vicino:
It’s infinite. You will never get to where you’re trying to go. And when you focus exclusively on that gap between where you are and where you’re trying to go, you can start to manifest a lot of discontent in life because you’re not actually getting closer to the goalpost. It will only ever be moved as you get closer to it. You will move it on yourself. However, the gap between where you are and where you started, that’s only ever increasing, it’s only ever getting bigger. And when we take time to look back on where we’ve come from, on what we’ve accomplished, that is where we start to build gratitude or confidence in our abilities. To say, look who I was ten years ago and now look what I’m capable of.
Anthony Vicino:
That is the affirmation. That is the proof that you can change because you have changed before, you can win because you have won before. Not saying I’m going to win this thing with some delusional belief, despite the fact that you’ve never done the thing, you’ve never shown any competence, you’ve never put up any points on the board, that’s just crazy. But if you can look back in other areas of your life and say, I’ve done well here through my grit, my determination, my application of consistency, and showing up and doing the work, I know I can do the work. And if I do the work over here, I know on a long enough time frame, I will achieve the result. That is the type of affirmation that’s actually going to serve you. And at the end of the day, it’s very important to remember that actions drive results, not intentions. And so often I see people doing their affirmations where they’re talking to the mirror.
Anthony Vicino:
They’re looking themselves in the eye and saying, I am rich beyond all belief and money flows to me, and I am great and fit and I have the body of my dreams and life, everybody loves me, and blah, blah, blah, blah, all these things. But then they don’t take actions towards those goals. And at the end of the day, the universe does not care how you feel. It does not care what you intend. It only cares what you do. And so with our affirmations, we need to align them with our actions. And those actions then lead to proof, to evidence that we are, in fact, who we say we are. So hopefully this brings you a little bit of value today as we unpacked some of the worst advice.
Anthony Vicino:
Fake it till you make it, but instead go at it with a different mindset, which is that I am stacking proof of who I am and what I’m capable of just by showing up and taking the actions necessary. That’s what’s necessary. It’s not the image that you present to the world, it’s the actions that you take. So it’s walking the walk, not just talking to talk. And forget the talk. Don’t even talk to talk. Just go do the thing. So hope this brings you guys some value.
Anthony Vicino:
You, as always, I appreciate you being here. I’ll catch you guys around the corner tomorrow, but until then, stay hyper focused, my friends.
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