The Origin Story You Tell Changes Depends On Who You Tell It To

So I was talking with a gentleman the other day. He was struggling to tell his story. Like, we understand that the power of telling our story as a business, as an entrepreneur, is that we get to bring meaning to the product or service that we are trying to deliver to the customer. It’s through our story the customer sees themselves and they can see that our product, what we’re doing with our business, has the ability to improve their lives. Right? So the story is what breeds that connection and gives that meaningful insight. But the problem that I have experienced working with so many, many entrepreneurs at this point is that we struggle to tell our story. We struggle to know which parts are relevant, which parts need to be left out. We struggle to tell it in a compelling way that actually drives influence and rather influences the behavior of the person on the other side, makes them feel connected, feel resident, all this stuff, right? And I think part of that is you’ve just lived your life and, you know, everything that you’ve done, and it doesn’t fit together in this really clean way that we see in Hollywood stories or in books.

Right. Your story, you could tell it in a hundred different ways, focusing on different impactful moments. And that’s the important thing to take away here. As I was talking with this gentleman, he was trying to recite the whole thing. And this is often what we do. We try to recite the whole thing. We do it in a chronological order. I went to college, I did this, I did that, and then I went to got a job.

This and this, this and this and this. Right? And the problem is, like, nobody’s life was ever transformed by a chronology of events. Nobody’s. Nobody’s life was ever changed by a list. It’s not compelling, it’s not engaging. Your list of life events is not more interesting than this other guy list of life events. But the way that you tell the story of that, well, that potentially is interesting. And as I was talking with this gentleman, he had a very powerful story.

He just didn’t know how to tap into it. He didn’t know which parts were the gold and which parts were just the dirt. Right. And one of the things that came up in that conversation that I want to share with you as a something to consider is that the story you tell for your business and your life, it is entirely dependent on who you’re trying to speak to, who it is, who your audience is in that moment, who you want that story to impact. The story that I tell when I’m trying to get through to a 22 year old kid with ADHD coming out of college, really struggling in the real world. The story I tell that person is different than the story that I tell to the 52 year old small business owner who is struggling to scale, to get more leads, to recruit a team and inspire them towards action. That’s a very different story than the influencer, the 32 year old gal who has an Instagram account with 200,000 followers, and she’s crushing it, but she doesn’t know how to monetize it. Right.

The story that I tell to those different people is different. How I tell my narrative is different depending on who I’m trying to communicate with, because at the end of the day, your story is nothing more than a vehicle through which your audience can see themselves being transported from where they are now to where they want to be. Your story is that. Is that vehicle. It’s the transformation, the arc of here’s who I was, here’s what I did now, here’s who I am, right? And that right where they’re at is where you were. And so they’re buying into you. They’re listening to you, because they see where you are now. They see where you were here, and they trust that you have something in this middle, in this transformation, that maybe you have the answer to what they’re going through.

And so there is not just one story that you’re telling. It’s contextual to your audience. And it starts by just asking yourself, who is this story for? Now, you don’t need to go make five different stories. Right in the beginning, when you’re building your business, you have a singular avatar that you’re trying to speak to. And I want you to get as clear in your mind about who that person is. Who do they see themselves. What are the words that they use to identify themselves? What are the pain points, the struggles, the problems that are keeping them up in the dead of night? Those quiet doubts that they have that you most likely experienced at one point in your life. And maybe you don’t anymore because you’ve gone through your story, you’ve had the transformation, but they are pre transformation, and so you need to speak to them where they are.

And the more that you can see that person, the more you’re able to craft the narrative and tell it in a way that they hear the words that are already playing out in their own minds, and they go, oh, I see myself in this vehicle. This is my story. I resonate with this. And it was really powerful when I was talking with this gentleman, because he works with individuals who are experiencing traumatic brain injuries, the individual and the couple, the relationship that they’re in and how much stress that can put on both sides of the equation. And he’s trying to speak to these, these families who are going through this most horrendous of experience. But he wasn’t clear on that at the beginning. We spent the first 15 minutes, me just keep asking him, who are you talking to? Who is this for? Who do you. Who do you want to serve? And once at, like, minute 22 in the conversation, once we got clear that the person, the people he’s trying to help is that couple, the girl who’s going through the TBI, going through the traumatic brain injury, who has lost her sense of self and identity, and her husband, her partner that is struggling to show up and be there and be present for this person and how much strain this puts on both sides of the equation.

Once he got clear that it was those people that he was trying to serve, the story unfolded, and he started crying. He got very emotional. It was very powerful because he felt for the first time that he himself was being seen, because he knew he had a message and a story that could help lives. But he didn’t know how to dig into it. He didn’t yet see how he could be the guide on somebody else’s journey or who he was being the guide for. And once he unlocked that, he goes, I have clarity for the first time that for the very first time, I know my story because I know who it is I’m trying to impact. And right there is everything that you need to know about telling a great story. So run with this.

Go tell your story in a magnificent way that can transform lives. I will see you back here tomorrow, but until then, stay hypertensive. Focus, my friend.