Arm yourself against the six weapons of influence, or else.
We all want to be more influential. Whether it’s in personal relationships, workplace meetings, or just in casual encounters we all want our ideas to be regarded and accepted (sometimes even implemented) by others.
The difficulty is that everybody else wants the same exact thing.
So what can we do to make our voices, our ideas heard over the din? How do we become more persuasive?
The first step is in understanding The Six Weapons of Influence as first outlined by Robert Cialdini in his landmark book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.
To be more influential, you must first understand the basic psychological principles governing decision making in us all.
To be more influential, you must arm yourself with the Six Weapons of Influence.
1) Reciprocation
Favors are a type of currency.
Zig Zigler famously said:
“You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
Though it certainly could be used for seedy manipulation, this concept is best implemented from a genuine place of caring and cooperation.
The principle of Reciprocity loses part of its effectiveness when the person on the receiving end of the favor recognizes it is purely being offered as a means of manipulation, some guarantee for future repayment.
Photo courtesy of pexels.com
When this occurs, it is no longer a favor. It is a transaction.
So to fully leverage the power of Reciprocity, it must be done from a position of genuine authenticity geared towards cooperation and collaboration.
To guard yourself from people using Reciprocation against you, view all favors and/or gifts through the lens of, “What does this person expect from me in return?”
I know, this sounds cynical and jaded, but it’s a useful exercise in stopping those who would take advantage of this very pernicious biological imperative.
For example: Free samples at the grocery store.
Free samples are given out not because the grocery store genuinely cares about feeding you, or introducing you to some tasty new treats they think will improve your life. They are doing it because they know you will immediately feel the weight of Reciprocity bearing down on you.
And in that moment of discomfort, as that little old lady hands you a cracker with a chunk of cheese on top, it’ll be mentally less taxing, and socially less awkward, to just buy a box of the damned crackers.
Don’t be manipulated by Reciprocity into buying something simply because you were given a gift you didn’t really want.
2) Commitment and Consistency
People who commit, whether it be verbally or in writing, to an idea or goal, are more likely to honor that commitment.
This obviously doesn’t apply to New Year’s Goals.
Well, actually it does.
The problem with New Year’s Goals is that people state them once or twice at the beginning of the year, and then summarily forget them. More effective would be to write them down, post them to every usable surface via a small army worth of post-it notes, and recite said goals every morning upon waking.
But that’s a lot of work, (as Commitment typically is) so let’s just talk real quick about Consistency.
Consistency is the deeply rooted desire we all have to be seen as steady, unwavering, and…consistent.
Yes, we’re using the word to define the word. Don’t judge me.
I think of myself as being a good person, therefore I try and do things that reinforce that image I hold of myself. Of equal importance is the fact I try to forget the things that contradict that image.
This is true of everybody.
With the exception of some Debbie Downers out there, we all, more-or-less, think of ourselves as good people. If somebody were to point that out to us, and then ask us to do something related to that particular aspect of our personality, they will have effectively leveraged Consistency to influence our behaviors.
For example, a guy approaches you on the street and says, “Wow, you’re jacked. You must work out, huh?”
To which most of us would blush and say something like, “Thanks, yeah, I hit the gym every now and again.”
“It totally shows. Say, I’m trying to get this couch up into my apartment, but it’s too heavy for me. I bet it wouldn’t be any sweat for you, though. You’re a cool dude, would you mind giving me a hand?”
Now, it’s no guarantee you’re going to help this stranger on the street, but the chances of you complying are two-fold.
First, the guy gave you a compliment (which plays off Reciprocity).
Second, the guy has leveraged your internal image of being strong and cool.
3) Social Proof
Social proof is perhaps one of the most powerful influencers.
Yelp has made a fairly successful business model off the idea that people want to know what other people think about a service, business, or product.
If given the choice between two products, one with only 4 reviews and the other with 4,000, you will more likely choose that second product.
“Social proof is the most powerful for those who feel unfamiliar or unsure in a specific situation and who, consequently, must look outside of themselves for evidence of how to best behave.” — Robert Cialdini
4) Authority
I’ll be honest, this one can be downright frightening.
A popular study conducted by Milgram in the 1960’s showed that people tend to obey authority figures, even when asked to perform objectionable acts.
This study set out specifically to understand the behaviors of complicity so prevalent in 1940’s Germany.
What they found was that most of us will commit some truly horrific acts as long as the commands are coming from a person we deem as being in a position of authority over us.
This makes sense when viewed through the lens of displacing blame. We are merely the vehicle, not the driver. We cannot be held accountable for our actions when those actions were dictated by another.
This logic has some rhetorical flaws that we refuse to acknowledge in the moment.
Perhaps the scariest part of Authority being leveraged against us in the pursuit of Influence is the fact that the person does not actually have to be an authority to elicit our complicity.
In most cases, merely presenting the avatar of Authority is sufficient. That is, wearing the uniform of a police officer confers upon our fraudster the same deference as though he were the real-deal.
Though, to be clear, the uniform doesn’t even have to be all that elaborate. Certain markers of success (nice clothing, nice car, etc…) are seen as a type of uniform and thus can leverage a similar effect.
5) Liking
This one is about as obvious as saying, “Donuts are amazing.”
People are more easily persuaded by the people they like. There is nothing earth shattering in this revelation. However, it is important to realize that there are certain tricks one might employ to get you to like them a disproportionate amount in relation to how long you’ve known them.
Successful used car salesmen are great at this.
A couple things that determine a person’s likability:
Attractiveness: Yep, this is why they use beautiful people in commercials.
Similarity: We like people who look like us. We’re not just talking about skin color, gender, or age (though those are definitely important). How one dresses, how one speaks (the slang they use), what sorts of activities they participate in, are of equal importance.
Compliments: We’ve already gone over this, but recall that compliments are a type of favor we feel compelled to reciprocate. Also, since it feels good to be complimented, we’re more likely to look kindly upon the person issuing the compliment.
Contact: Oxytocin is a chemical released when there is physical contact between two people. It doesn’t even have to be long contact. A quick pat on the shoulder can be enough to bond one person to another.
This is why I maintain a strict bubble of personal space. All ya’ll need to keep your Oxytocin-eliciting hands off me.
Cooperation: Agreeable people who are easy to work with are by their very nature likable. This shouldn’t take anybody by surprise.
Keep these 5 factors in mind next time you are out looking to buy your next car, oven, or child. It might be pure coincidence, but if somebody is ticking every single one of these boxes in your first encounter, chances are their gaming the system a bit.
6) Scarcity
Scarcity, even of the artificially derived variety, will generate demand.
This is why we are constantly inundated with ads reminding us that we only have a limited amount of time to act.
We all know this isn’t true. There are very few, truly scarce items out there. For the most part, everything being hocked to us is, by its very definition, a commodity.
There are more of them out there. Many more.
So why do companies keep playing this game?
Because it’s devastatingly effective.
Opportunities seem more valuable when there are less available. This is the idea behind limited runs of premium products.
Scarcity plays off a quirk of our biological makeup, namely:
We humans view potential loss as more powerful than potential gain.
That is, you will go to greater lengths to avoid losing $100, than you will to gain $100.
The end result is the same, but the human brain is wired to view loss as the less desirable of the two. As such, Scarcity should be viewed through the lens of losing options.
Because that’s really what it comes down to. When an object is more scarce, we have fewer options available to us. Regardless of whether we even need (or want) said object, our desire not to lose out on that option is a powerful force when it comes to decision making.
Consider yourself now armed with the Six Weapons of Influence. Use them to guard yourself from would-be influencers, while also boosting your own effectiveness in influencing others.
